Always Love
by only-because3
Summary: BLP triangle: "Damn it Luke." she mumbled, rubbing her swollen belly. She hadn't once allowed herself to cry, not once during the whole month. It showed that she was weak and that she was hurt but more importantly it was proof.
1. Chapter 1

So, i was in a oneshot mood, and well, frankly i think this is crap, but figured i'd post anyway lol. This is definatley a Brucas i've never written and im not sre how i feel about it(wait, yes i do i think its crapola haha). Anywho, I hope y'all enjoy it more than i do! DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

She sat down on the old porch swing, carefully keeping an eye on the rain. It was coming down harder and harder and she noticed that the drains weren't working as well as they should. Before, he would've come out to de-clog them to prevent the flooding. But now, no matter how hard she tried, they wouldn't unclog and the water would get higher and higher until it reached the third step and she'd have to keep the kids and the dogs inside.

She wrapped the blanket tighter around her, relishing in the soft fabric that it was made out of. Sophia had made it for her when she was 8. The stitching was uneven but it didn't matter. Her daughter had made it and so she loved it. She sighed, looking out at the lawn, watching to drops fall one by one. There was a light on in the backyard two houses over to her right and it sounded as if there was a fight going on between a couple.

"You kissed her? What the hell is wrong with you?" the girl shouted. She couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain when she heard them fighting.

"It didn't mean anything Anna!" the boy shouted back. Over the rain she could hear the cries of her neighbor to her left. She never took the time to get to know the old woman next door but she felt a little sorry for her. She knew that about a month after they had moved into their house that the woman's husband had died of a heart attack. That was one of the few times she attempted to make something, and her cake turned into something that resembled a large flat chocolate chip cookie.

"I don't bake very often and it had actually caught fire in a few places which is why its semi burnt." she had mumbled nervously. To her surprise, the woman, who had tears coming down her face, laughed. She then offered her a sad smile and took the cake.

"Thank you." the woman had said before inviting her in. But, she couldn't stay, Sophia was at home with Lucas and needed to be fed. So, she graciously declined the offer before giving the woman a hug and telling her how sorry she was.

Under the blanket, she fingered her wedding ring, the one that he gave her 13 years ago. It was a unique wedding ring to say the least. He had proposed after Sophia was born with his grandmother's ring. It was hand engraved with a flat square top, a royal blue sapphire placed in the middle, diamonds scattered everywhere on the ring along with floral engraving. It fit perfectly, considering Sophia's birthstone was the sapphire. It was intended to be her wedding ring because money was so tight. They had just had Sophia and both still had school. But, then a large sum of money came their way with his grandfather's passing and her engagement ring was moved to her right hand to make room for the wedding band he gave her. It was one she had picked out years before when they had first begun dating. It was in the Victorian Collection and she fell in love with it. Little did she know that Lucas would end up giving her the intricate band of platinum and diamonds, displayed in a filaree fashion.

She sighed and sat up, her feet hitting the ground with a splash. She looked down and noticed that the ground had already stated flooding. She sighed once more before standing up. She walked the short distance up the 3 stairs and to the door. She grabbed her jacket off of the hook that is next to the door and threw it on, grabbing the sweeper that he had bought for this purpose.

She tossed the blanket onto the swing before tucking her sweats into her rain boots. She walked down the steps, rubber sweeper in hand, and readied herself for the back pain that was sure to come. She started to slide all the water on to the grass, her back already hurting. It'd been raining a lot that month and it'd been taking a toll on her back. She made a clumsy mistake and when she went to sweep water onto the grass, some comes back and soaks her leg. Whenever he did this, he'd come in dry rom head to toe except for his boots.

"Mom, you shouldn't be doing this." Sophia said from the door as she watched her mother's shoulders drop.

"Who else is going to do it?" she asked, pulling her dark brown hair into a bun on top of her head.

"I'll do it. The doctor said the stress is bad-" Sophia was cut off by Brooke waving her hand in the air.

"I know what the doctor said Sophia. It doesn't matter though. Go inside and watch your brothers." She wasn't about her 14 year old do what she had to.

"Mom, come inside. I'll call Uncle Nathan to come over and do it if that's what you want. Just _please_ come in and rest." she was pleading with her mother. This last month had taken her mother on one hellish ride, almost causing her to miscarry.

"Sophia Brooklyn Marie Scott." she said with a tight mouth. "Go inside and do as I say."

With her name said in its entirety, she backed down and nodded. "Just please come in soon 'kay?"

Brooke nodded and went back to sweeping the water. She felt bad for being so stern with Sophia but she didn't care at this point. She needed to do this since he wouldn't. When the door closed behind her she finally stopped, realizing that her attempts weren't working.

"Damn it Luke." she mumbled, rubbing her swollen belly. She hadn't once allowed herself to cry, not once during the whole month. It showed that she was weak and that she was hurt but more importantly it was proof. Proof that he really was gone.

It was hard enough that his baby was in her belly, the baby they tried so desperately for. Their first 3 had come easily. Sophia happened right out of high school. Wyatt happened their last year of college. Finley was the little bundle of joy that was actually planned 6 years ago. When he was 2 they started trying again and after 2 years of nothing they went to see a doctor. She had bled a lot with Finley, making it harder to conceive. Then, 5 wonderful months ago, they had that one night where they had gotten lucky, and their new baby girl had been conceived.

She dropped the sweeper, leaving the mess of a backyard to flood, making her way inside. She discarded her boots and jacket before she opened the door. Once inside, she told her children to get into bed and that she'd be there to say goodnight in a few minutes. They listened, except for Sophia who still sat on the couch. "I don't get why he left." she said to no one inparticular, never taking her eyes off the tv.

"Neither do I." Brooke responded looking over at her daughter. She was the spitting image of her father except for her smile. That she got from her.

She went into her room and changed out of her wet clothing and into another pair of sweat pants, ones that used to be his. She put on an oversized t-shirt, the one she's worn during every one of her pregnancies. She walked into the bathroom she once shared with him and splashed her face with water from the faucet. The water is freezing, just like the weather outside, the pipes not having time to warm up. She reached for the hand towel she always kept next to her sink to dry her face, but instead she found an empty spot. She opened her eyes to find that it isn't there. Just like his toothbrush isn't there or his shaver. More proof that he is really gone.

When she finished in the bathroom she walked into her sons' room that is decked out in everything basketball. "Momma?" Finley asked as she tucked him in.

"Yes Fin?" She placed a kiss on his head, as she sat down on the edge of her bed.

"When's Daddy gonna come home?" She hated him for doing this to her. For leaving her to answer all these questions while he was off with that blonde whore of a friend. To leave with out saying goodbye, leaving her to come up with an excuse as to why he didn't come home from work.

"Soon baby. I promise." She hated how she had to lie to her kids. Make promises she wasn't sure she could keep.

"He's with Aunt Peyton isn't he?" Wyatt asked over from his bed. Wyatt had seen them. He was the one who came to her wondering why Dad had kissed a woman his mother told him to consider an Aunt. He didn't know what to call her anymore, and judging by the look on his mother's face, she didn't want any of them to call her 'Aunt' anymore.

"He's just helping Peyton for a little while." She didn't know why she was lying to Wyatt. He was 10, he knew what was happening. But, because of her love for that excuse of a man, she kept lying to him and almost had him convinced that it wasn't his father that was kissing her former best friend. She offered Wyatt a small smile, but it didn't soothe him. He was a Mama's boy and she loved him everyday for it. She hated how he was becoming protective over her against his father though. She walked over and gave Wyatt a kiss on the forehead as well.

"Night boys." she said, turning off their light before she closed their door.

"Why'd they do it?" She was hit with the question as soon as she entered the living room.

"Excuse me?" she asked her daughter.

"Why did Dad leave you and us for _her_?" she asked in disgust. Sophia had always been very close with him and Peyton which was probably making it hardest on her. Two of the people she thought so highly of, had broken their family and hurt her mom and little sister. They didn't care about anyone except them and their own selfish needs.

"I don't know Soph." Brooke responded, sitting down slowly on the couch.

"You tried so hard for a baby and then he just leaves?!" Brooke can't help but think that Sophia is starting to resent Lucas the way he had resented Dan. He never wanted to become him, yet he did. He thought it was better than Dan though, because he was still going to see his kids and be in their lives. He didn't think about the hatred that his children felt for him though. Well, the hatred that Sophia and Wyatt felt towards him.

The phone wrung and without missing a beat, Brooke grabbed the phone. "Hello?" She knew it'd be him, he always called around this time.

"Can I talk to Soph?" he asked sheepishly, not expecting her to answer.

"Your daughter started kicking up a storm today. Oh, and the backyard is flooded, again. Just thought you should know." Brooke responded, rubbing salt into the wounds. She refused to let Lucas touch her when he had come over the few times that month. She handed Sophia the phone. "It's your father."

"What do you want?" she asked him, annoyed that he was calling.

"What do I want? Is that any way to talk to your dad?" he asked, surprised at her tone.

"**You are not my dad.**" she told him coldly. The words were like venom and made him cringe on the other end of the phone line. "You lost that right when you cheated on Mom with _her._ You lost the right to call me your daughter when my mom, **your wife**, ended up in the hospital because of you and _her_, putting my baby sister, **your daughter**, at risk of dying. You remember her right? The baby you and Mom tried to have for **four years**? But, I guess you'd have to remember Mom in order to remember the baby huh?"

"Sophia, it's-" He tried to explain but his daughter is too much like her mother.

"Complicated? That's bullshit and you know it. It's not complicated at all Dad. You simply couldn't keep it in your pants. Or excuse me, do you want me to use the lie you've been feeding Mom? 'You just fell out of love with her?' Funny how you fall out of love with Mom and land in Peyton." She responded snidely.

"Sophia Brooklyn Marie Scott!" He was angry now but some how she didn't care.

"So, how's the whore?" she asked and he could tell she was smirking the Famous Scott smirk. She didn't wait for an answer, instead she hung up. She set the phone down and noticed that her mom had slipped out of the room. She goes into the room that was once occupied by both her parents to hear her mom crying in the bathroom.

"Mom?" she asked skeptically. Her mother never cried.

But there she was, on the floor in the bathroom, her head in her hands, Lucas' towel laying on her lap. She was sobbing, hard, and it didn't look like she was going to stop.

It had finally hit her that he was gone and he wasn't coming back. He didn't care any more. He didn't love her or what they once shared. He didn't care about the kids they shared, not a single one. If he did, he wouldn't have left now, when they finally got their wish. Instead he was with _her_, the one he had always loved. The one he always cared about. The one who always got the promises he kept. The one that would without a doubt get his grandmother's ring that had come to be hers.

She finally removed her hands from her face, only to bring his towel up to her face. It still smelled like him. Still smelled like her husband, the father of her children, the man she loved. Only that wasn't who he was anymore. He wasn't the man she married. He was a coward, and scum, and the man she would with out a doubt, always love.


	2. Pain

So, I finally got this updated! Lots of people wanted me to continue so I will. Now, I have a question for y'all. How would you guys feel if this turned into brathan? as you know, it'll be hard to turn this into brucas but if its what you want, i'll do my best. Tell me what you think and I hope y'all enjoy!

The kids were off at school and she was left at home to do... nothing. She had already done the dishes, something Sophia had told her not to do, she cleaned up the living room and bedrooms and all the laundry was done. Well, all the laundry except hers' and Lucas'. She hadn't done their laundry in a month. She was going to do it the night he didn't come home.

She sighed to herself as she marched upstairs to the soon to be nursery. Yet another thing he promised to do before he left. She opened the door to reveal the paper white walls and the dark brown wood flooring. The crib that all of their babies had slept in was the only thing that he had taken down from the attic before he left.

She walked over to the crib and ran her hand over the railing. It was a beautiful crib. Dark wood finishing, just like the floors. They had a matching changing table and dresser that went with it but those were still in the attic, collecting dust. The phone rang and she crossed the hall to pick up the extension in Sophia's room.

"Hello?" Brooke answered.

"Hello Brooke." Karen said cheerfully. "I was wondering if Lucas was there? He isn't answering his cell phone or work phone."

"Why would Lucas be here?" Brooke asked, clueless as to why her soon to be former mother-in-law was calling the house her soon to be ex husband had left.

"I thought maybe he'd stayed home from work today. Well can you tell him I called when he gets home?" He hadn't told her, that's why she was calling.

"Umm, yeah, sure thing Karen." Brooke said, trying to muster up some cheerfulness.

"OKay. Well take care Brooke. And take it easy. I don't want you back in the hospital." Karen hadn't come to the hospital. Lucas had told her that he called his mom and explained everything and that she couldn't get away. Guess that was a lie too.

"Bye Karen." Brooke said, hanging up quickly. She ran her hand over her stomach absentmindedly before throwing the phone on to the bed.

* * *

"Brooke?"

He walked up the stairs to the nursery where he saw Brooke in an oversized tshirt and an old pair of jeans.

"What the hell are you doing?" She turned around to look at him.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asked before turning back around to continue painting the wall.

"You shouldn't be painting while your pregnant Brooke."

"I also shouldn't be getting a divorce while I'm pregnant, yet here I am!" Brooke responded snidely. "What do you want Nathan?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing. Sophia called me last night. She's worried Brooke." He entered the rom slowly, as if he was afraid to go into it.

"I'm fine." she muttered, rolling out the lie that she had said for weeks.

He nodded and she turned back around, making sure the painting mask was covering her nose and mouth properly. Her eyes started to sting, a sure fire sign that a fresh batch of tears were waiting to fall. "He didn't tell Karen."

"What?" He was shocked by the fact that she was still talking to him. With her pregnancy hormones and impending divorce topped with her own natural Brooke Bitchiness made for an extra mean, extra bitter Brooke. He assumed that when she turned away from him, that was the end of the conversation, end of him being there.

"Your stupid ass of a brother hasn't told Karen he's screwing Peyton." The way she spoke really hurt him. They words were cold and angry, yet so sad at the same time. "You think he would have the fucking decency to tell his mother that he left his wife of almost 15 _years_." That's when Nathan realized just how angry she was. When Brooke had given birth, the day of their high school graduation, she swore off all cursing. She would not curse and if she did it sure as hell wouldn't be in front of her kids. So, when Brooke did curse, it was the equivalent to her almost physically harming someone. "For his wife's best fucking friend. For the woman her grandchildren call Aunt."

He stood from the doorway, watching his sister in law fall to pieces in front of him. "Nathan, you've known me for a long time right?" He nodded, too afraid of offending her to speak. "Longer than you've known your brother?" That's what he was now. _Your brother_. Not Lucas or her husband. He nodded his head again, unsure of where she was going with this. "Am I not good enough?" Curve ball of a question. He wasn't sure how to respond to this, and he didn't before Brooke went into a rant. "I mean, it's not like I forced him to marry me. It's not like I forced him to be apart of his child's life. It's not like I forced him to stay with me for the past fourteen fucking years! It's not like I forced him to have more children with me!"

Even from his space across the small room, he could see the tears threatening to spill from her eyes, her face getting flushed. "I have given _everything_ I have to that man and he just... he just..." She still can't bring herself to say it. She's admitted to it in her head and has cried over him but she can not get out those 3 little words. '_He left me."_ Never in that context. She could never put 'me' on the end of it. "What does she have that I don't?" Her words don't come out angry, but sad. Sad words in search of an answer. An answer as to why the man she trusted the most in this world has done nothing but hurt her.

At the same exact moment, with Brooke's word hanging in the air, the hear the front door close. Then, footsteps coming up the stairs. Nathan stood there, confused as to who it is. Brooke turned around, trying to recompose herself quickly, going through the people it could be in her head. The footsteps are too heavy to be female, to steady to be Finley and too fast to be Wyatt or Dan. She knows who it is before they reach the top step and she wanted to do nothing but scream.

"Brooke?" he asked tentatively and even though she can't see him, she knows that Nathan is glaring at the man standing next to him. She knows he wants to lash out in a rage, the fact that he is his brother is not coming to mind.

"Get out." She said curtly, not once stopping her now resumed painting to look at him.

"Can we just talk? Five minutes tops." He's getting dangerously close to begging, something that gave Brooke a little happiness inside.

"Brooke." It's his brother now, the one who has never hurt her. The one who has done nothing but show her how to be a better person and treat her right.

She turned around, almost not wanting to but knowing she can't avoid it. "It's okay Nathan." Even with this said, Nathan's fists are still clenched, his knuckles starting to turn white. "You have five minutes. That's it."

Lucas nodded, and smiled, obviously thinking he made progress. Nathan looked her once more in the eye before unclenching his fists. "I'll talk to you later Brooke."

She nodded and offered him a small smile. She then redirected her attention to the man she loved and hated. "So, what lie are you gonna feed me now?"


	3. Anything

Hey everyone! Thank you for the awesome reviews! I have decided that this will be a Brucas story although I can't promise there wont be any Brathan along the way or the happy ending you all want( but i do promise that I wont kill anyone off ;) lol). If any of you are waiting for a City of Devils update, I promise to TRY and get it up by saturday, I've been having some writers block. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter even though it's kinda sad.DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :(

When he heard the front door shut, he sighed and hung his head, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. His left hand. The hand that no longer held his wedding ring. "Brooke." he sighed tiredly, as if he was so tired that it took nearly all he had to say that one word.

She stared at him as if saying her name was enough for her to figure out why he'd come to talk. She shrugged and dropped the roller into the paint tray before walking past him. "Where are you going?" He reached out to touch her elbow as she passed and her breath got caught in her throat. Even after everything, he still had the power to do that. After all those years and after sleeping with her best friend, his touch still made her shiver on the inside and made her breathing distraught.

"If we're going to talk," she began, pulling her arm away from him, "then we should do it in a room that doesn't have a billion paint fumes. I am pregnant incase you forgot." Her words sting and it hit him just how alike her and Sophia are. Sophia may look like him, but on the inside she's 100 percent Brooke.

"How could I forget Brooke?" She turned to look at him with a glare. He closed the nursery door and they stood in the hallway staring at each other. He does a gesture as to say 'What?' and she shook her head at his cluelessness.

"Well, when you started doing Peyton, I assumed you forget about the baby, **our** baby, that I'm carrying." She started down the stairs, resting the hand that wasn't on the railing on her stomach. Underneath her hand, she felt her daughter kick, and for the first time, she couldn't smile at the feeling. "So, why are you here?"

"I think we need to talk." She stood at the bottom of the stairs, trying to catch her breath. He put his hand on her shoulder, looking at her red flushed face and for split second, Brooke wanted to just let him. To slip back into how they were. To have him stand behind her and ask if she's okay and then smile down at her. Then they would go into the back and he would deflood the yard and she would sit on the porch swing and when he was done he'd sit with her and then enjoy their time together until Finley and Wyatt came home from school. But, then she remembered the skanky blonde bitch and her hot face became hot with anger.

"There's nothing to talk about Lucas. You left. End of story." she said walking away from him. He sighed, upset with himself for doing this to her.

"Can you stop being so... so... you for a second?" he asked and she stood up straight.

"Stop being _me_?" He almost flinched, afraid of Brooke's wrath that might come to him. He had forgotten how... testy she was when she was pregnant. "And don't you god damn say it's the pregnancy Lucas!" She could still read his mind, know what he would say before he said it himself. That was all part of her charm. "Oh, by the way, your mom called looking for you. Are you that much of a coward that you can't tell your own mom?"

Had Brooke not sounded so angry, he probably would have let his mouth drop. He hadn't thought that his mom would call the house. But, he guessed, that's what he got for lying to her about it. "Did you tell her?"

She laughed a little when he said that and she shook her head. "It's not my place to tell her Lucas. If I really wanted to screw you over I would've though."

She seemed so angry with him but they way she acted. It didn't make any sense. She hated him, that much he was sure of but she hadn't done anything to hurt him. "Um... thanks I guess."

She had begun scrubbing the counter in the kitchen even though it was spotless. "Your welcome ass." she responded not looking up. "So, in the words of our daughter, how's the whore?"

"Do you actually let her talk like that?" he asked and she stopped scrubbing. She looked down at the counter, the baby was now kicking her organs and was making it very hard to concentrate. She let out a deep breath and repeated, causing Lucas to again, worry about the woman he left. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" He started to approach her when she looked up.

"I'm fine. She's just playing soccer."

"Basketball." Lucas corrected and Brooke shook her head. That was always something they did when she was pregnant and it felt wrong to do it now.

"Yes, I let our daughter state the truth. As of right now I'd rather her call Peyton whore instead of Aunt."

"It didn't mean anything Brooke." He was at a loss. He didn't know what had lead him to Peyton that night of the Christmas party, but he went with her into that room. He loved Peyton, he did, and that's why he moved out. He knew it wasn't fair to Brooke to be with her but still have feelings for someone else.

"Stop lying to me! If it didn't mean anything you wouldn't have left. If it didn't mean anything you wouldn't have done anything!" She couldn't believe that he had actually said that to her. After feeding her lies ever since _they_ started, saying that he fell out of love to her, to come back and say that it didn't mean anything. "The secret is out of the fucking bag Lucas so will you do me a god damn favor and just be honest with me?!"

"I am being honest with you." he tried, but it was no use.

"So you are telling me you threw us away, broke up our family, for _nothin_g? The least you could do is love her Lucas. That you walked away because you really weren't in love with me anymore. I'm not saying I wouldn't be angry if that was the case, but at least you would have reasoning behind it." He stood there, quiet, choosing to just let her get out all of her anger because he knew that was what she needed. "So which is it Lucas? Do you love her or me?" It seemed like an ultimatum and he wasn't sure how to respond. He loved them both but there was no way he could say that.

"I can't choose between to two of you." he offered quietly, hanging his head in shame.

"Damn it Lucas!" He looked up at her, surprised by her reaction. "Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now? I can't yell at you for moving out if I wasn't the only one in your heart. Because that's not what I want, and it sure as hell isn't what I deserve. But, god damn, after 13 years of marriage, you're having doubts? Did you even want to marry me when you proposed?"

"Of course I wanted to marry you Brooke!" He needed to defend himself, and this was one area where he could.

"Really? Or was it because of Sophia? I told you that I didn't want you to feel obligated to me Lucas! Is this how you've felt all along? Like you had to stay with me? When I found out I was pregnant I told you to be sure that I was who you wanted. I told you to make sure you had Peyton out of your heart!" Tears were filling her eyes, but she was determined to not let him see her cry. "You looked me straight in the eye and said that you only loved **me**."

"I know you hate me..." They had stood in the kitchen for some odd minutes in silence, Lucas not knowing how to respond, and Brooke not being able to continue without opening the flood gates. She took her eyes off of the counter to look at him to find his piercing blue eyes staring back at her. She used to love those eyes. All of her kids had those eyes, it was a shame that it hurt her to look into them now.

"But do you think you'll ever be able to love me again?" He knew that he sounded selfish. Asking her to love him when he didn't deserve it. He knew that she would never be able to fully love him again, but that thought honestly killed him inside. He loved Brooke, he really and truly did and if she didn't love him back ever again, he wasn't sure he could live through that.

"You know who I really hate?" It was a rhetorical question, and he waited for her to continue before offering anything. He isn't sure what this has to do in response to his own question, but maybe she was choosing to ignore it. "Not you, not my ex best friend. Me. I hate myself right now Lucas. Because I wasn't enough for you. Because I have _never _been enough for you. And because no matter how many times you hurt me, I can't stop loving you." She couldn't hold them back anymore. Her tears were freely falling, her breath becoming ragged from her sobs.

"Brooke..." He wanted to comfort her and he moved forward in hopes of doing so, but she backed away.

"No. You don't get to touch me." she said, cowering her head. "But you know I think maybe the saddest part in all of this, is that you are just like **him. **You became Dan."

He shook his head violently, covering his ears because he didn't want to hear this. he never wanted to hear this. He hadn't become Dan, he would never abandon his children. She lifted her head to look him in the eye before she continued. "Wyatt and Sophia hate you now. Wyatt _saw_ you two! He saw his hero cheat on his mother. He has to go around everyday, knowing that his dad is an ass! You're loosing him Lucas and if he decides to let you back in, I can guarantee you it wont be until he reaches high school. And Sophia... you've lost her. She absolutely hates you now. You know how you're supposed to love parents unconditionally? Well, she has taken that away from you. She hates you more than I do Lucas, and if you **ever** get her back, it wont be for years."

Tears fill in his own eyes, not being able to take what he's hearing. This wasn't supposed to happen. His kids were supposed to love him, not resent him. "And Fin, well, he still thinks you're coming home. But this baby," she put her hand on her stomach before continuing, "will never know her father."

"You're keeping her away from me?"

She shook her head. "I wouldn't do that. But don't you see Lucas. You don't live here anymore. You'll never see her first smile, or the first time she laughs, or the first time she lifts up her head. You'll never hear her first words or see her take her first steps. You aren't going to see _any_ of that Lucas."

The front door opened, and both stood up straight.

"Momma?"

Finley walked into the kitchen to see his mother and father in the same room in the first time in over a month. "Daddy!" he shrieked, running into Lucas' arms.

"Hey there bud. I missed you." Lucas pulled him close, savoring the moment. He hadn't seen his son in 2 weeks and it had really been taking a toll on him.

"I can't believe you're home now!" Finley shouted, dropping his lunch pail in the process. Brooke walked around the counter, drying her tears, as she leaned down to pick up the forgotten pail.

"Finley, go up to your room and do your homework." He jumped down from his father's arms after giving one final squeeze. He went over to give Brooke a kiss on the cheek before making his way out of the room.

"Daddy's home!" Finley shouted to Wyatt who had just come in the door.

"What?"

"Dad's home! He's in the kitchen with Mom right now!" Finley said excitedly, bouncing his way upstairs. Wyatt walked his way into the kitchen, and looked at both his parents, confused as to what was going on.

"Why are _you_ here?"

"Wyatt, go upstairs please." Brooke said, noticing that Wyatt was following his uncle, clenching his fists. Lucas looked at his son, not believing the hatred that was coming from his eyes. "Wyatt." He finally turned to look at his mom to see the pleading look on her face. He also noticed her puffy and red eyes. He nodded and gave her a tight hug before leaving the room.

"I think you should go before Sophia gets home." He nodded and walked into the living room, walking to the door. "Say goodbye to Finley first. Don't take away his goodbye." He looked at her, knowing she was right, and turned to go upstairs.


	4. Here Comes A Regular

Ok, so thank you all for the wonderful reviews! This is my super short update(sorry about that btw). I promise another jam packed chapter by thursday(if all goes well). I'm actually entering the third chapter of this story into a script contest(with alterations of course) and hopefull i'll win and get to produce it. Anyway, enough rambiling. Enjoy!

"_Where's Brooke?" she asked in a whisper as she walked up next to him, a glass of champagne in her hand._

"_Catering to everyone's needs. Like she does every year." he replied with a small smile as he watched his wife chat with Haley, Finley at her leg. She was smiling, showcasing the dimples that each one of their babies had. She was running her hand through Finley's hair, something that always soothed him._

"_Think she'll notice?" She looked over at him and saw him shake his head. She got a devious grin on her lips as she grabbed his hand. They slipped past the crowd of people, not a single one suspecting them. Instead, they all went on with their conversations about Christmas plans, family, politics and religion, smiling at them as they passed. None of them knew that they had been secretly seeing each other for months. Ever since last September and nobody, including his wife had a clue._

_Sure he felt guilty about it now that Brooke was finally pregnant. He loved her he did, but there was something about Peyton that was so intoxicating that he couldn't say no to her. His feelings for Peyton had never completely disappeared, he just simply loved Brooke more. He thought that maybe on some level, Peyton knew that too, that she could never be his Brooke, but she hadn't said a word. She didn't accuse him of using her and treating her like crap and he knew why. It was because she liked that she came to him. She liked that he could make him weak and that he would come and satisfy her._

_And it was how she felt. She of course felt guilt, especially when one of the kids would call her aunt. But Brooke had gotten what was rightfully hers just because she couldn't keep her legs closed and got pregnant. Sure, some would call her bitter but those people didn't have a clue as to what was going on right under their noses._

_When they reached the empty hall, her lips attached themselves to his. His hands had already begun to wander her body, one of them finding it's way up her dress as they slip into the empty spare room. Neither one noticed the small blonde haired boy that was coming out of his room._

"I'm sorry." he said, his head down as he poked around at his mashed potatoes, not feeling very hungry all of a sudden.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked gently, setting her fork down quietly. She laced her slender fingers together and settled them on her belly as she looked at her son intently.

"For telling you about dad." he responded. He wouldn't look at her, instead focused on his mashed potatoes, moving them into a mountain only to tear it down and rebuild once more.

"Why are you sorry about _that_?" Her voice strained to get the last word out. She hadn't expected this and she was honestly sad that this was the question at hand. Her son shouldn't be sorry about that. The only people who should be sorry is Peyton and Lucas.

"Because I hurt you. I ruined our family. It's my fault Dad isn't here anymore." She can tell he is trying to hold back tears and it kills her inside. Her son shouldn't feel like this was his fault. Her son should be living a normal life but he can't because of _them_.

"Is that what you think?" She looked at the other end of the table to see Sophia looking between her and Wyatt. She then moved her gaze to Finley who looked so confused. This was her life now. Just her and her three children. The children she had with him and the children that were now confused and hurt on a daily basis.

Without being asked, Sophia silently excused herself, taking Finley with her upstairs. It is silent at the table until they heard the bedroom door shut. "Yeah." he responded half heartily.

"Listen to me." She got up from her spot, her belly grazing the table as she got up. She walked over to her son and used her now ring less finger to lift his chin up, causing him to look at her. "You had _nothing_ to do with this. This was _not_ your fault. Your father hurt me, not you. Your father ruined this family, not you. I am so glad you told me baby. I didn't want to be with your father if he wasn't just with me." Tears started to pour out of his eyes and he closed his eyes to try and hold them back. He has a stubborn face on, willing himself to stop crying. Brooke moved her hand to his face, brushing away his tears. She wrapped her arms around him, his head now resting against her belly. "Your dad isn't hear anymore because he wants to be with... _her._ It wasn't because of you."

"Does Dad hate me?" Again, his question surprised her.

"Of course not honey. Your father could never hate you." SHe looks down at him, the tears are still falling down his cheeks.

"But I hate him. And I'm not nice to him and I told on him. How does he still love me?" He sounded so confused and he was. He hated his dad he did, but it was his dad, he could never 100 percent hate him. But, he had done so much to his dad, it seemed entirely possible for him to hate him.

"He loves you because he knows that you were doing what was right. Even though it didn't benefit him and it hurt him, you were doing what was right and helping me."

They stay like that for a while. Wyatt crying continuously on Brooke's stomach. And she stood there, despite the fact that her back was starting to hurt and she needed to rest. This pregnancy was so tough on her but her boy needed her and she wasn't about to do anything to benefit her needs at that moment. Then, the doorbell rang.

"I love you Momma." Wyatt said with a tight squeeze.

"I love you too baby." she said, placing a kiss on top of his head.

"MOM!" Sophia shouted from the living room. She sounded angry. This wasn't going to be good. She and Wyatt walked into the living room and they stopped in their tracks. Sophia had an angry look on her face, her eyes glaring viscously at the person in the door. Her arms dropped from Wyatt's shoulders and her mouth hung open.

"Hey." the blonde replied meekly, stepping inside.

"You need to get the," she placed her hands over Wyatt's ears briefly although it did nothing, "fuck out of my house right now or so help me god I will kill you with my own two hands!"

"I'm not leaving until you hear my side of the story." Peyton said, coming all the way into the house, brushing past Sophia.


	5. Everything'll Be Alright

Once again, a big THANK YOU! for the reviews(especially your's Lynn. They always make my day)! So, I've decided to put a flashback at the begining of every chapter now. I'm pretty happy with this chapter and I hoe you guys like it too. I don't know when I'll update next. I'm taking my exit exam and I've been having a bunch of doctor's appointments and I have a bunch of baby showers to go to and ugh, it's just super hectic lately. Hopefull I'll have an update for ya next week. Enjoy!

"_Hey babe." He slipped his arm around her growing waist, leaning down to kiss her cheek. Her nose caught a familiar scent on him, one that wasn't his. Still, her smile did not falter, she was in the presence of friends and family and she had little reason to suspect anything. He had probably talked to some coworker who had way too much perfume on. _

_She turned to look at him, his appearance had changed since she had last seen him. He looked more cleaned up, like he had actually gone into the bathroom and fixed himself up. She shrugged of the suspicions she had. It was their Christmas party, everything should be happy. At least for her children._

_She turned back to her conversation with Haley when she felt Lucas' arm unwrap from around her waist. She turned back at him and he offered her a smile as he went to go get another glass of champagne. Then, Peyton walked up and the same scent gathered under her nose. "Were you talking with Lucas earlier?" she asked, shooting Haley and apologetic look for cutting her off mid story. Peyton nodded with a smile and then turned to Haley so that she could finish the conversation._

_She rubbed her hand absentmindedly over her swollen stomach. Lucas returned with his glass, settling himself on the opposite side of her. Brooke looked up at him and noticed that he glanced towards Peyton before smiling down at her. She looked back at Peyton who was sipping from her glass, staring intently at Haley. She shook the thoughts from her head once more, convincing herself that it was just about Christmas. It wasn't happening again. It couldn't... right?_

Peyton walked into the living room, about to sit down on the couch. "Wait!" Sophia shrieked, stopping Peyton from sitting down. Peyton gave her a confused look and she continued. "Hold on. I'll be right back just DO NOT sit down. Please?" Sophia rushed out of the room, making her way up the stairs. It was awkward while she was gone. Peyton was standing with a satisfied grin on her face while Wyatt's hand clenched Brooke's. Sophia bounced down the stairs with a towel in her hand. She quickly laid it over the spot on the couch before she said another word. "There."

"What's the towel for?" Peyton asked with a raised brow.

"My family sits on that couch. I don't want them getting herpes or worse, crabs because you sat on it." Sophia said in the sweetest voice possible. Brooke tried her best to stifle a laugh. She squeezed Wyatt's hand in hopes of containing it but the look on Peyton's face. Like she couldn't believe the words had just left the girl's mouth. The room erupted with laughter, Brooke's free hand finding its way to her mouth to try and stop her laughing. Sophia wore the famous Scott Smirk as she walked over to Wyatt and held out her hand. He squeezed his mother's hand tightly once more before placing his hand in his sister's.

"She certainly got a mouth on her." Peyton said, picking her jaw up off of the floor. She recomposed herself, rolling back her shoulders and fixing her jacket.

"It's just you." Brooke said with a sweet smile, fighting the urge to smack Peyton across the face. That was the old Brooke. She would hit Peyton and curse and beat Peyton down until she couldn't look at her anymore. But, now she was Brooke Davis soon to be ex Scott, mother of 3.5 children. She had changed and grown over the years, maturing into a wonderful woman. It wasn't her fault that some people were stuck in high school.

"So you came to talk?" Brooke asked, settling herself down at the other end of the couch. The baby then started kicking again, obviously sensing that she was in the presence of an evil STD ridden whore.

"I really don't think that you are giving Lucas a fair chance here." Peyton said calmly. She said it in such a way that Brooke could almost see what she saw in her all those years before.

Brooke scoffed. "A fair chance? Why should I be giving either of you _any_ chance?" She readjusted herself in her seat, the baby now moving in an awkward position, casing her to fidget.

"I don't think you should keep his kids from him though. I mean, he deserves to see him." Peyton said, a bit of bitchiness back in her voice.

"Excuse me?" She was now honestly confused. Lucas had seen the kids earlier today.

"All he's done all month is mope about. He needs to see his kids Brooke. Even a dumbass like you knows that." There was the Peyton that Brooke knew and loathed.

Brooke laughed to herself once again. "**I'm** the dumbass? Really? Do you know where Lucas was today?" Peyton nodded confidently. "Where?"

"Work."

"Is that so? All day?" Peyton nodded again. "That's funny considering he came by today. Saw the kids and everything. You guys don't talk much do you? God, do you guys just screw whenever you see each other? I mean, it's not like you guys have an actual relationship."

"Don't have an actual relationship? I'm not the one he left Brooke. He came to me." Peyton said, standing up to look down upon Brooke who just sat on the couch with a satisfied smile on her face.

"He didn't go to you voluntarily Peyton. He went to you because I told him to get the hell out of this house. He couldn't go to Nathan and Haley's because, well they'd kick his ass and take my side. He couldn't go to his mother's since his mother doesn't even know about any of this. He chose you because you where his only choice and he knew he could get some ass when he needed it."

"You're just jealous because you can't satisfy him." Peyton responded weakly.

"I can't satisfy him? The first time we met I was _naked_ in his car! I have _four_ children with him, two of which weren't planned! I was the first person he slept with! He can not get enough of me!"

"Oh, that's right, you were the whore in high school." Peyton said with a smirk.

"I'd rather be a whore for four years than be a whore for the rest of my life, like **some** people." Peyton glared as the comebacks kept coming. "It's funny how you think you've won. That you think that you really got him this time and that it'll actually work."

"I do really have him Brooke. I have him a lot fucking more than you do right now."

"He doesn't even want you! He just wants you for your body Peyton! Don't you see that? He told me that you didn't mean anything! Because, obviously, that means he's madly in love with you!" Brooke shifted in her position again, happy that she remained seated. It showed that she want going to get overly worked up, that she was the one in control and calm. SHe held the power in this conversation. She wasn't the weak one like Peyton thought because she chose to stay down.

"Well he obviously doesn't love you either now does he?" Peyton asked and for once, Brooke shut her mouth. "I mean, if he did, he wouldn't have come to me in the first place. You do realize that's how it started right Brooke? He came to me. And he still would have come to me had that boy not opened his big mouth."

Brooke shot up, the best she could with an almost 6 month pregnant belly. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare call my son 'that boy'! He was a nephew to you Peyton! How could you do that?" Her voice is filled with sadness and anger. "He may have a big mouth like his mom, but do you have any idea how proud I am of him? He thinks that it is _his_ fault that this family is broken! My ten year old son thinks he sent his dad away! All because he did _the right thing_? How the hell do you sleep at night?"

She hit a nerve and she knew it. It made her want to smile, but she doesn't because what Brooke is saying actually is causing her to feel guilt. "I don't sleep at night. Lucas is to busy keeping me up." Peyton whispered in reply as she turned to leave.

"Get the fuck out." Brooke said and Peyton turned around to look at her.

"I'll be seein' you." she said with a glare or sorts. She opened the door and slammed it shut leaving Brooke alone in the living room. She slumped back down in to the couch, determined not to cry. She wouldn't let that bitch have the satisfaction.

"Mommy?" The voice is child like but it came from her oldest. She looked up to the top of the stairs, seeing her daughter's blonde head poke out. She crept silently down the stairs and proceeded to sit down next to her mom. "Everything'll be okay right? This is gonna stop happening. The yelling and everything. Right?"

She leaned into her mother's shoulder, and Brooke wrapped her arm around her daughter. Sophia was always the strong one, at least on the outside and it reminded her how much they were a like. "Of course honey. Everything'll be alright." She placed a kiss on top of Sophia's head and she heard her sniffle. She lifted Sophia's head so that she could see her face, and luckily no tears had fallen. "Don't cry baby. I promise everything will be fine."

"How long will it take?" she asked tentatively.

"I don't know honey. Soon I hope." Brooke whispered, choosing not to lie to her daughter.


	6. Tired of You

Hey everyone! Wow, almost 100 reviews and only 6 chapters, you guys are so incredibly awesome!! This chapter is a bit longer than all the other ones, so I hope you guys enjoy it! Should have another chapter out by next week (unless of course my test results come back bad in which case, I don't know when your next update will be lol). Also, I don't know how old my reviewers are but if any of you are moms, I applaud you. I had to have an ultrasound the other day and I almost pissed my pants haha. So, you can't see it, but I'm giving you a standing ovation haha. Okay, Enough rambiling, on with the story!

"_What were you and Peyton talking about earlier?" she asked casually as she held her hair up at the nape of her neck so he could unzip her simple black dress._

"_When? Lucas replied. Only for a second was he worried that they had been caught._

_She shrugged as she slipped out of of her dress. She flung it over her arm and walked over to her dresser. "You guys just seemed like you had been talking when you came over to me and Haley." She slipped on his old sweat pants as he took his slacks off. She kept her head down, not wanting to look at him. He knew her too well and would immediately tell her everything was fine and that there was no need to worry. Maybe she did need to hear that. Learn to just trust him. Although, he had told her everything was fine junior year when he had been sneaking around with Peyton. She shook her head. This wasn't junior year. She and Lucas were happily married and Peyton was considered an Aunt by their children._

"_It was about presents nosy." Lucas said with a smile. She felt his large warm hands slide along her waist before resting on her small baby bump. He always found her absolutely irresistible when she was pregnant. Especially during the second trimester. When her tummy was just starting to grow. It always looked like she swallowed a small melon and she always got that healthy glow in her skin right about then too._

_He felt a small resistance under his left hand and he smiled; it was his newest daughter making her presence known. Brooke cocked her head to the side and looked up at her loving husband. She leaned further into Lucas, resting herself against his warm chest. A sudden urge over took him, one that had over taken him earlier that night with another woman. He dropped his head down and began to leave a trail of sort sensual kisses down her neck._

_She let out a soft moan and laced her fingers with his. "I think we need a shower." she said with a seductive smile, leading them into their bathroom._

This was his life now. Wake up. Go to work. Come home. Fuck Peyton. Sleep. Then, repeat. He absolutely hated it. With Brooke there was always a sense of spontaneity. She would literally decide to do something on the spot, the only factor she would ever consider before hand were the kids. Well, he should say, _her_ kids. Lord knows he didn't deserve them anymore.

"Good morning." Peyton whispered in his ear, lifting her head from the crook of his neck. She kissed him, a kiss that he had almost no reaction too. He never got used to waking up to Peyton. Every morning, he would compare her to Brooke. Peyton's voice was never raspy enough, her hair never messy yet perfect at the same time. In other words, she wasn't Brooke and it killed him.

"I'm going to be late for work." he mumbled, getting up from the bed. Hopefully, Peyton would be gone by the time he got out. She would usually leave for breakfast of coffee and he'd slip out before she returned. The less time he had to spend with her the better.

When he did come out of their room, fully dressed, she was gone and he let out a sigh of relief. He grabbed a banana from the fruit dish as he walked out the door. That's another thing that didn't happen at Peyton's. No breakfast. He actually had never seen Peyton cook before. With Brooke, there was always a sit down breakfast, whether it be some eggos or cereal, or homemade pancakes and eggs. Or, on Sunday mornings, she'd make egg mcmuffins with the Paula Dean machine he had gotten her two years ago for Christmas. He smiled at the thought of Brooke cooking, she had come such a long way.

He got to the office before he even realized it, spending every minute before one working. Anything to keep his mind off of the life he had created for himself. At one, Haley walked through the glass doors of his office building, her arms full with his newest nephew of one month and 2 weeks, James.

"You're coming to lunch." she stated. There was to be no negotiation here. He was coming and that was it.

"Lunch?" He glanced at his wrist watch before going back to his computer, typing away at something. He actually didn't want to talk to Haley now. He hadn't talked to her since the first of January and here it was the second of February. She had ignored every call he made to her since he had left. Now, she was showing up at his office, demanding lunch. "I don't have time Haley."

"Make time." Her voice isn't how it used to be. Not the sweet voice that used to belong to his best friend. This voice was angry and demanding, belonging to his ex wife's new best friend. He looked up at her, finally seeing the look on her face. Hopefully, James would act like a buffer between them.

"I think I have some time to spare." He said, saving all his documents on the computer before standing up and slipping on his coat.

"That's what I thought." she said with a very small satisfied smile.

They ended up in a small cafe down the street and he got a sudden rush of his mom. He needed to call her soon and inform her of his mistakes. They sat at a booth towards the back of the cafe, most likely by design. Obviously, Haley didn't want an audience when she ripped him a new one. They order soon after they enter, neither one speaking to one another. When the waitress left, Haley folded her hands on top of the table and looked over at Lucas.

"So." She wasn't going to say any more, expecting him to tell her what he had to say.

"How have you been?" he asked stupidly. Haley could feel her face get hot and she looked over at her son to calm down. She smiled down at him, his dark hair poking out from underneath the small beanie he wore.

"How have I been?" she mimicked. "Well, I've certainly been better than Brooke." Her words are sweet but they sting him.

"Haley, it didn't mean anything." Like Brooke, Haley's head shot up when he said this.

"Then why the hell did you do it?" He shrugged, fiddling with a napkin. Anything to take his mind off of this. Their food arrived and for a few minutes, nothing more was said. "You of all people." Haley said as she took a bite of fry. She shook her head sadly.

"It was a mistake Haley. I know that! I just... I don't know why I went to Peyton okay? There was just something about her and Brooke sill hadn't gotten pregnant yet and... it just happened."

"That's a bunch of crap and you know it. It should have never happened. You know what, Brooke did get pregnant and you still went to be with her! What's your excuse for that?"

He didn't have one. He could say that he was already in too deep but he knew it wouldn't work. Haley was stubborn and nothing was ever going to make this right.

"And at the Christmas party too? How could you? When your whole family was downstairs. When your **wife** was downstairs. When your **children** where downstairs." Her voice is getting angrier and sadder all at once and it killed a little more of him inside.

"I'm not their dad anymore. They hate me now. Sophia has disowned me, Wyatt doesn't talk to me and when he does he's protecting Brooke. Finley.. well I broke his heart yesterday when I told him that I wasn't coming back home. So he cried and told me he hated me and begged me not to go." He let all of his feelings out concerning his kids to his best friend, someone he thought would sympathize, maybe even pity him. _God, how pathetic._ He thought. He'd gotten to the point where he wanted pity.

But, instead of comforting him like the girl he once knew, she stared at him. "Good. You deserve to be hated." Her words shock him, something that he didn't think was possible. "Junior year I supported you Lucas. What you did was wrong, but I stuck by you. Senior year, I stuck by you **again** even thought you didn't deserve it. I will not support you again. Not after 13 years of marriage."

They finished their lunch in silence, Haley leaving as soon as she was done, not bothering with a goodbye. Lucas paid the bill and left shortly there after, going back to work for another 4 hours. Now, he had another thing to add to the list of things he wanted to forget.

He got home at 7, Peyton sitting on the couch watching some home decorating show on HGTV. She glanced up from the tv with a smile and nodded towards the table.

"I got Chinese. Hope that's okay." Yet another day of Chinese food.

They eat dinner in silence, the only sound coming from the tv, informing them of helpful do it yourself tips. They finish and he went to throw away their empty containers in the kitchen. Before he knew it, her small slender hands where sliding around his waist and she planted a small kiss on his shoulder.

"I'm tired." It's not a lie, he really is tired, but he also doesn't want to be with her tonight, or at all anymore. Whatever he had found intoxicating about her before, he now found repulsive, like he had formed a new allergy to a certain type of flower.

She can't believe what she was hearing. Brooke's words kept ringing in her head, telling her that she meant nothing to him. But, if she closed her eyes real tight she could pretend it really was a lie. That if he didn't want her he would've left by now. "Come on." she whispered, tugging on his arm. He shrugged her off and she took a step back. "What is with you tonight?" she asked harshly and he turned to look at her.

"I'm just not in the mood alright? I want to sleep not fuck." That's what they did. They didn't make love, it was a simple fuck, a way of letting out pent up energy. No real love was involved, at least not anymore. Just as long as they got to their highs, they would be good.

"Well well well. Lucas Scott, I've never heard you call sex 'fuck'." Peyton said with a smirk.

"Well, when it doesn't mean anything I don't want to say that I'm 'making love' because I'm not." he responded through a clenched jaw. She took another step back, as if he had slapped her.

"What?" He shrugged at her and left the kitchen.

She followed him, grabbing his arm so that he was facing her. "Are you saying this doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Do you think it does?" He isn't the Lucas Scott she remembered. This Lucas is cruel and harsh and breaking every bit of her heart. "This whole thing means absolutely _nothing_ to me Peyton! You were supposed to be a one night thing until you kept coming back and I was stupid enough to keep going to you! This isn't love Peyton! This is me and you screwing each other and essentially screwing up our lives!"

He doesn't like being mean and with Peyton looking so beaten, like if he was to reach out and touch she would explode with tears, but he can't let this continue. He is done. He decided that he wanted his old life back, a life that he can never have, and instead of taking the blame, he is blaming the blonde in front of him.

"You don't mean that." she said weakly, rubbing her eyes to try and prevent any tears from falling.

"I'll come back tomorrow for my stuff." With that, he grabbed his coat and walked out the door. He had no where to go, he was alone. He sighed, and got into his car, driving to the first motel he saw.


	7. Come Back To Me

Hey everyone! I'm back! My main focus is this story now, since I got three chapters up for City of Devils. So you are going to be getting 2 more chapters after this and then a little hiatus. This is a pretty Peyton centric chapter but there is some happy Brucas moments. I feel like I contradict myself in this chapter but it might just be me lol. Also, it isn't addressed in this chapter but I mention in Chapter 2 that Sophia was born on their graduation day- well forget that. I lied okay lol. A big thanks for the reviews! And an even bigger thanks to my beta Cass!

Peyton had been standing in the middle of her small living room for the past ten minutes, staring at the door, almost expecting him to come back in. However, she knew he wouldn't, at least not tonight. She knew that he loved her more, yet she always wondered how that was even possible. They weren't in love when Brooke got pregnant.

_She was willing to put it behind them. They broke up over Brooke, which was ironic considering they had broken up before because of her. She knew he slept with Brooke the night of their break up and that really killed her inside but maybe that's what he needed to do so they could be together. Just screw Brooke one last time and then forget about her._

_She opened his door to find Brooke sitting on the edge of his bed crying, Lucas nowhere in sight. "Brooke?" _

_She looked up from her hands and Peyton got a good look at her red swollen face that was drenched with tears. "I'm so sorry Peyton. I really am. I'm so sorry." _

_Peyton got a confused look on her face, unsure of why Brooke was apologizing. She already knew about her and Lucas and she had been angry about it but she thought this was all behind them. Why was she still apologizing? They were trying to get their 'friendship' back on track. _

"_What's wrong?" Peyton asked, sitting down next to Brooke and wrapping an arm around her. She got no answer other than more sobbing and then she saw it. There it was in the trash can, the bright blue box poking out. _

"_Peyton," Lucas said as he walked into the doorway, his eyes darting between a confused Peyton, a crying Brooke, and two empty Clearblue pregnancy test boxes in the trash can. He sounded surprised and Peyton took her eyes off of the trash can to look at him with a raised brow. "What are you doing here?" _

"_Well," she said getting off of the bed and far away from Brooke, "I came here to talk about getting back together. But I see you've knocked up my friend instead!"_

He chose _her_ that night but he didn't know that. He asked her to leave so he could talk to Brooke about what _they_ were going to do about _their_ baby. It was easier to blame Brooke. Brooke seduced her boyfriend, Brooke got herself pregnant. But no matter how much she really tried to hate Brooke, she couldn't, because Brooke was already willing to let Lucas be with her. She had told him to be with Peyton because she thought that was what was best. She had told Peyton repeatedly how sorry she was and how it wasn't fair to her. That Lucas really seemed to love her and that they should be together because they really did make a 'good couple'. She said it was going to be difficult, because she was going to keep the baby and didn't want to shut Lucas out, but that they could make it work. They could be together and Lucas could still be apart of their baby's life.

But of course, Lucas Scott, Mr. I have to do what's right, didn't like that. He didn't think it was fair to any of them and had made himself believe he loved Brooke more. She didn't need him to wait and tell her that though... she already knew it wasn't going to work. Once Brooke hit month four, it became pretty damn obvious who he'd choose in the end.

_Brooke sat on her bed, reading 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' while Peyton sat at her desk, drawing a picture of Brooke's latest ultrasound. She was trying, she really was. It was awkward to say the least. Being friends and sharing an apartment with the woman who was carrying her boyfriend's baby. But, they were making it work, and Lucas seemed happy about it, which in turn made her happy. _

"_Hey," Lucas said as he walked into the room, going over to Peyton first and giving her a quick peck on the lips before going over to Brooke and giving her a peck on the side of her head. "How's my baby?" He tried to place his hand on her belly but she hit his hand before he could. _

"_Angry," Brooke said, turning another page of the book. "You missed the appointment." _

"_The appointment was today?" Lucas asked, glancing back at Peyton, thinking she would tell him otherwise. But, she just nodded her head. She ended up going to the appointment with Brooke to find out that her boyfriend would be having a baby girl in five months. During the little outing, Brooke had also asked her to be the baby's godmother, something that came as a complete shock to her. Brooke had seemed genuine about it and Peyton wasn't sure if Brooke could handle it if she said no, so she had agreed, the idea barely growing on her. _

"_Yes, the appointment was today," Brooke said, sounding irritated. _

"_I'm sorry Brooke. I am, really." He put his hand underneath her chin so she would look at him. She moved his hand away from her but looked up at him anyway. _

"_Fine. Your daughter and I forgive you," Brooke said before going back to her book, letting a small smile play on her lips. _

"_Daughter?" he asked excitedly, looking down at Brooke. _

"_Didn't you notice the ultrasound?" Peyton laughed from the other side of the room, holding up the ultrasound that said GIRL so Lucas could see. _

"_I'm gonna have a daughter?" Lucas asked once again, looking in between Brooke and Peyton with the goofiest smile on his face. She guessed he was still in a semi shock about it. _

"_Yes Luke, you're going to have a daughter," Brooke said with a slight laugh, setting her book down on her small baby bump. _

_He went over to Peyton and hugged her tight. "I'm having a girl!" he exclaimed and all Peyton could do was laugh. _

"_I wasn't even that excited," Brooke laughed as Lucas came over to her and lifted her off the bed, bridal style, and twirled her around. "Lucas! Don't! You're going to give her brain damage. Put me down!" He placed her back down on the bed, his smile still on his face. Brooke's ponytail was a bit messy now and her face flushed. "Crazy," she laughed as she pulled her shirt back down over her belly. _

"_You know you're just as excited as I am," he said, shaking his head as he saw Brooke roll her eyes._

There wasn't anything specific about that moment, but that's when it hit her. It was going to be Brooke. Brooke was going to get his love and his attention and everything that she always had. Brooke Davis was stealing her life whether it was on purpose or not.

Two days later he broke up with her.

She spent the next five days crying. She cried because he broke up with her and she cried because no matter how much Brooke tried to help, she still felt like crap. She cried when she heard Lucas ask Brooke out on a date but she didn't cry when she heard him tell Brooke that he loved her. Instead, she popped five sleeping pills, hoping that when she woke up, if she did that is, that Brooke and Lucas would be far, far away from her.

She wasn't go to let herself cry this time though, because she was still holding on to the small thread of hope that he'd come back. Every time he left her, he came back. That's how they'd gotten themselves so deep into this. It was supposed to be a one night thing. He'd come to her apartment after having another fight with Brooke about their problem getting pregnant. But when their fighting became more frequent, his visits became more frequent. By the time Brooke got pregnant they couldn't stop. Their was no point. They'd been doing it so long and had hidden it so well. She knew she should've stopped it being Brooke's best friend once again, but she didn't.

Over the years she had gotten bitter and did hate Brooke more than she had before. Brooke had accepted his date, Brooke told him that she loved him too, Brooke had accepted his proposal. Peyton guessed their friendship never meant that much to her either. Maybe that's why she didn't put an end to it. Or maybe it was because she still loved Lucas so damn much.

She sighed to herself, keeping back the tears that were forming in her eyes. She wasn't going to cry because he was going to come back. He always came back. Even if he loved Brooke more, he always came back. What was different this time? He had nothing waiting for him, no one except her.


	8. Pills

Hey Everyone! OKay, so this website is bein a bitch so I had to ask someone how to upload another way so if this turns out screwed up, I'm sorry. Thanks soo much for the reviews and thanks to Cass for beta-ing! I'm fairly proud of this chapter and I hope you guys enjoy!

_"It's not that I don't want another baby Brooke!" Lucas shouted from their bathroom, following Brooke into the room. He watched as she violently pulled back the blankets, a few layers at a time. He came up behind her, reaching out to touch the exposed skin on her shoulder but she jerked away from him. "Brooke, don't be like that."_

"What do you expect me to do Lucas? You tell me that maybe we should stop trying to have another baby. You obviously don't want to touch me." She knew she was being unreasonable but it felt like he was giving up and she wasn't ready to do that yet. She wanted another baby and she thought he did too.

"Maybe we should see someone Brooke." She turned around, confusion mapped out on her face. "Like a therapist."

"For marriage counseling?" Her voice wavered a bit. She wouldn't have gone so far as to say their marriage was in trouble.

"No Brooke. I mean, not necessarily." He should have left the second part out because her eyes already moved into a glare. She let out a sound to make sure he knew how disgusted she was as she moved past him and into the bathroom. He still forged on though, trying to get his point across. "Just to talk and help us with this whole thing. I know it hasn't been easy on you trying to get pregnant Brooke."

"So what, you think I'm crazy?" Brooke semi-shouted from the bathroom, her speech slightly impaired by the tears that were trailing down her cheeks. "I'm dealing with this on my own Lucas! I'm still trying here!"

"I'm not saying we should stop trying Brooke! I'm just saying maybe we could try and see if it came naturally," he said calmly into the door, trying the knob only to find it locked.

"You know it wont work!" she said, staring at the big bathroom around her. She was curled up against the door and she suddenly felt really small, like the bathroom would swallow her up. "Just go Lucas. I don't want to talk anymore."

He sighed and nodded, retreating to the bed he shared with her. The door opened a few minutes later and Brooke got a confused look on her face. He gave her a sympathetic smile and she looked like she was going to burst into tears once more. "Stop looking at me like that," she whispered, laying down on the bed, staying near the edge, with her back towards him. She didn't want that pity look, especially from him.

"Brooke, I'm sorry." He leaned over to touch her once more, but she hit his hand away.

"Just leave me alone Lucas. I don't want to talk or see you right now."

He sat there confused. "You want me to leave?" She nodded, a few tears already streaming down her cheeks, tears she was trying to keep hidden.

They had never had the perfect marriage. They had fought a lot in the beginning, having their own little peaceful days in-between. It was hard, starting a family, when they were just barely getting back in tune with each other. They constantly fought about money, something Brooke always thought of as normal. They blamed each other for what they couldn't achieve in their life. She blamed him for stopping her fashion career and he blamed her for making him get a simple nine to five job that he wasn't sure whether he liked or not.

It had gotten better though. They stopped resenting each other, at least not as much, and let one another in. Whenever her insecurities would get to be too much, he'd swoop in and comfort her, telling her that he'd never leave her and that they were going to be forever because they were meant for each other in the end. Whenever he complained about his job, she'd give him a back rub and make his favorite dinner: a lasagna recipe she learned from his mom. They had seemingly worked passed their problems, the problems disappearing as their family grew.

As they both realized now, their problems hadn't gone, they were only covered up. Everybody thought they were doing fine, as a matter of fact, everyone still thought they were all right. Truth was they weren't okay. It was slowly getting worse. Maybe their love for each other was blinding them, keeping them from seeing what was wrong all those years. This baby thing was tearing them apart, just as a baby had brought them together.

"Fine," he said, trying to hide his anger. He got up, not bothering with a pillow or blanket, just grabbing his jacket that had been tossed on their dresser. He left the room quietly, shutting the door behind him and it took only three minutes for Brooke to start regretting what she'd said.

Maybe it would be good for them to see someone, she knew she had overreacted and that there were problems they could work out. In her head, she started thinking about what it'd be like to bring a baby in to this environment. Picture perfect family on the outside, but on the inside, things weren't going well. She slowly crept downstairs, in hopes of finding Lucas on the couch, tossing and turning like he always did when she'd send him out of the room after an argument. Lucas wasn't in sight. Instead, there was a note left on their coffee table, stating he'd gone to Peyton's to clear his head.

She crumbled the note up into a ball and threw it across the room. He could never leave Peyton out of their problems. Instead of telling her what was wrong, and what he was feeling, he told Peyton. Yes, she had pushed him away, but after all this time you'd think that he'd know that she just needed time. That she would open up and realize her wrongs. He could never wait though, to share his problems with Peyton.

She slowly walked back upstairs, checking on their children before she made her way back to her room. Once she reached her bed, she got the tiny bottle of sleeping pills and took two out. She went into the bathroom to get some water, and quickly took them. This wasn't normal, she didn't usually do this. She had a case of insomnia the previous year and these were her left over pills that she hadn't even touched till now. She wouldn't let herself constantly use them though, because she was above that. But just for right now, she needed to sleep, in hopes of waking up with Lucas next to her, one of his arms draped around her waist.

"So, how have you been?" she asked casually while she was making sure the sun wasn't getting on James' face.

She shrugged, taking a mini carrot out of the plastic baggy she was holding. "I'm fine." It was a lie, a lie she fed to everyone. To Nathan, to Haley, to Dan, to her kids, to herself. It was the lie she had to say in order to make it through the day.

Haley stared at her from behind her sunglasses, trying to decipher what Brooke really meant. Brooke had been known to keep on a happy face, to make everyone think she was okay, hell she'd even fooled Haley. Now, she had to make sure that what Brooke said was the truth, or if it was simply another lie.

But Brooke Scott, soon to be Davis once more, was always good at putting on a face. She smiled her dimpled smile for added reassurance and Haley let it go, focusing on the line that they had been standing in for the past ten minutes. "All this fuss over a few penguins."

"Are you going to be disappointed if they don't break out into song and dance like Happy Feet?" Brooke asked with a laugh, handing Finley the bag of carrots.

"The penguins are gonna dance?" Finley asked hopefully, although he already knew it probably wasn't true.

Brooke shook her head, smiling down at her son as she ran her hand through his hair. "Sorry baby, no dancing penguins." She glanced around, looking for Sophia who had gone to go take pictures of some of the other animals. Her eyes fell upon her daughter, sitting on the wooden bench, totally enthralled by the lion. She wasn't taking pictures, just watching the animal intently. Her eyes then moved to the other blonde sitting next to her.

They started talking, and she could see Sophia start to cry before grabbing her camera and getting up. She marched over to her angrily, her foot stopping into the dirt with every step she took. She was rubbing her eyes violently, trying to make it look like she hadn't cried.

"Soph, what's wrong?" Wyatt asked as his older sister as she walked up to his mother, whispering something in her ear.

"Nothing little bro," she said cheerily, even though it was clear that she wasn't cheery. "Don't worry about it." She ruffled his hair and he pretended to be angry about it, flattening it out once she was done.

"Haley, are you okay with watching the kids for a few minutes?" Brooke asked as they moved a few inches forward in line.

Haley nodded, pushing her sunglasses up on to the top of her head. "It's not like we're going anywhere. We've been in line for fifteen minutes already just to see two penguins and we're still not even half way to the door."

Brooke nodded, and walked with Sophia over to the bathrooms. Once they were inside, Sophia turned around to look at her with tears filling her eyes. "Honey." With that, Sophia was in her arms crying, soaking the shirt that she was wearing.

"I didn't want to see him yet Mom," Sophia cried into her mother's shoulder. She lifted her head up and Brooke began to move Sophia's hair back behind her ears.

"I know," she said softly, using her thumb to wipe away the tears on her daughter's cheeks. "I'm going to go talk to him okay. Just stay here and get yourself composed."

Brooke marched over to her soon to be ex-husband who had his head in his hands. She wanted to sit down, she had already become short of breath when she had marched the short distance from the bathroom to the bench. "Look, I said that you could see them. I said that I wouldn't stop you. But she doesn't want to see you. She doesn't want anything to do with you okay?"

"Brooke..."

"No, Lucas! If you love her you'll stay away. Let her deal with this. You hurt her okay? I already told you that you weren't going to get an easy in!" Brooke said, placing her hand on his shoulder. That was the only contact that she had made towards him in a long time. It wasn't to get his attention, or to show her affection, it was so that she could maybe knock some sense into him.

She offered him nothing in the way of a smile, frown, or scowl. She just simply looked back towards the bathroom where Sophia was standing, now recomposed, waiting for her to come back. Brooke looked back at him once more, hoping she got her point across before walking away from him.

She only got three feet away when she heard him say, "I left her."


	9. Misery Loves It Company

Hey there everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews and to Cass for beta-ing! I'm pretty proud of this chapter and I want to know how you guys feel about it. I have bad news which is that you guys are getting put on a short hiatus while I write some chapters of 'City of Devils'. The next chapter for this should be up within a few weeks if all goes good for COD. Enjoy!

_She stopped suddenly, standing up straight. She turned around and looked at him. "Excuse me?" Her voice was low and full of surprise. She wasn't surprised that he had left her, she was surprised that he had told her this. He couldn't possibly think that it would make a difference. Lucas could be kind of dense, but he wasn't retarded._

_He cleared his throat and stood up walking the short distance to her. "I left her." He put his hands in his jean pockets, dropping his shoulders as he did so. She used to find that stance absolutely adorable; now, she wanted to slap him. She looked up at him, into those deep blue eyes that she could never get tired of. She took in his appearance. He'd gotten kind of scruffy looking, it was obvious that he hadn't shaved since she last saw him._

_She snapped out of her gaze when she realized how close they were. He was just in front of her belly, not touching it quite yet. "Do you think that's going to change anything? Is that why you told me?"_

_He surprised her again when he shook his head no, looking down at the brunette he had loved for so long. "I just wanted you to know. I'm committed to making this work. I'm choosing Brooke. I'm choosing you." He wanted to reach out and touch her, to tuck her hair behind her ear like he used to. To reach out and touch her belly and to lean down and kiss her with everything he had._

_She scoffed, still not moving away from him even though he had moved closer so that her belly was brushing up against his flat stomach. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "You're too late," she whispered as she backed up, turning away from him so she wouldn't have to look at his face. She already knew what his expression would be, the look as if he just saw her kick a puppy, sadness, hurt and shock._

"_Mom?" Sophia asked when her mother came back to her, linking their arms together._

"_Let's go see some penguins," Brooke said cheerily, choosing to ignore what had just happened._

Brooke rolled over in the enormous bed that she now realized was entirely too big for just her. It was Saturday, the day everyone chose to sleep in, but the doorbell was ringing. She sat up slowly in her bed and threw on her robe before walking downstairs as fast as she could so whoever was at the door wouldn't wake the other three people who were still in dreamland.

She looked at the clock above their mantel, discovering it was only 7:30 in the morning. She sighed, irritated, before placing a fake smile on her face and opening the door. "Hel-." She stopped herself when she saw the women who was staring back at her, wearing a fake smile as well. "What are you doing here?"

"Is that how you greet your mother?" Mrs. Davis asked with a raised brow.

Brooke shook her head, sighing on the inside. She really didn't want to go into this. "Mom, hi! How wonderful to see you! You must be awfully tired from your flight. Please, come in!" Brooke said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"I swear you got your love of sarcasm from your father," Mrs. Davis said, shaking her head as she walked into the house. Brooke rolled her eyes, locking the door behind her mother.

Her parents had only been to the house a handful of times, when each of the kids were born and a Thanksgiving or two. They were hardly great grandparents, in fact, they were completely against Sophia. They thought that Brooke was too young and had too much ahead of her to bring a baby in the world. But, they did love all of their grandchildren, spoiling each one even if they didn't see them. For Christmas, each one would get 5 presents, for birthdays they would get 7. Whenever they'd come into town, presents were always on hand, if not, then they'd slap down 100 dollars for each of them.

They walked into the kitchen, Mrs. Davis taking a seat at the island in the middle of the kitchen while Brooke started a pot of coffee. "I don't get why you have such a big kitchen," Mrs. Davis muttered to herself.

"I have a big kitchen because unlike you, I actually cook. I never understood why we had a state of the art kitchen when it was just you, me, and dad," Brooke said, deciding to get a head start on breakfast.

"Because we thought Rosa deserved it after working for us all those years. She was a wonderful cook," Mrs. Davis said with a sigh. When Rosa died three years ago, they had decided not to replace her and instead eat out for every meal. Rosa had become a part of their family and had gotten so close to them that they were crushed when she died. "Why don't you hire a cook? You'll need help now wont you?"

Brooke stopped cutting up oranges to look at her mom. "Because I'm not like you?" she asked, her voice sounding a bit snippy. She had told her mother about the divorce through an e-mail two weeks ago and hadn't gotten a reply. "And no, I won't need help. I can do everything on my own."

Mrs. Davis held her hands up. "I'm not trying to start anything Brooke. I'm just saying." She got up from her place at the island and began looking through the cabinets until she found the cups and pulled out two mugs.

"You 'just say' a lot of things Mom," Brooke said, returning to the oranges. "I'm not having any coffee. It's bad for the baby."

Mrs. Davis turned around to look at her daughter, the daughter she barely knew. Her dark brown hair, which Brooke had gotten from her, was in a messy bun on top of her head and she was wearing huge oversized clothes, although her belly was easily seen, due in part to her belly button that had popped out. She seemed so... perfect for this life. Not being a divorcee that is, but to be a mother and a wife. "This suites you."

Brooke looked up once more to give her mother a confused look. "What suites me?"

"Domestic life," Mrs. Davis said, realizing how snotty it sounded once it left her mouth. "Not domestic life per say. Living like this, being a mother and everything. It suites you."

Brooke stood there in a momentary shock. Her mother didn't usually say things like that. "Thanks?" Brooke replied, question in her voice.

"It comes so natural to you," Mrs. Davis said shaking her head, running her hand through her graying hair. She was far from the perfect mother, she knew that. She had reacted horribly when she had found out that Brooke was pregnant with Sophia. She had gone as far as to get someone who would marry Brooke despite the fact she was pregnant. He was a nice wealthy man who could take care of her and Brooke did like him, she just didn't love him. She only loved Lucas which meant that no other man would do.

Brooke shrugged, now moving to her fridge to get out eggs. "I told you he wasn't good Brooke." She stopped, standing up and turning her head ever so slightly to see her mother out of the corner of her eyes. "I'm sorry, but you should've married Paul when you had the chance."

Brooke scoffed and shut the fridge. "I should've known it was only a matter of time. Was that your plan all along? Compliment me and then trash me?"

"I'm not trying to 'trash' you Brooke! I just wish that for once in your life you would listened to me," Mrs. Davis said, keeping her voice calm.

"I can't live the life you have Mom. I wanted a husband I loved and who loved me back. I don't care about money Mom, I never did." Brooke noticed her mother straightening her cardigan, something she did when trying to keep her temper down and remain like the socialite she had become. "Why did you marry Dad? Was it for the money?"

Mrs. Davis stopped for a moment to look at her daughter, the daughter that looked so much like a younger version of her. "Because he was safe."

Getting tired from being on her feet, Brooke stopped making breakfast temporarily and sat down across from her mother at the island. "What do you mean?"

"I didn't marry him for his money like you think Brooke. He could've worked a 9 to 5 job and I still would've done it because he is a nice man."

"But you don't love him. Why did you marry him?" Brooke asked, her mother confusing her thoroughly. She often wondered if her mother was a bit psycho in the head.

"He can't hurt me. I'm not in love with him and he isn't in love with me. He's my safe haven. Being with someone you love? That's scary. That's an unsafe zone that you can't control. Your father can't hurt me emotionally because we simply don't care. But someone you love... someone you think the world of? They hurt you, they let you down." She stopped momentarily to gather her thoughts and place her hand on top of Brooke's. "When I told you to marry rich it wasn't because I thought you were a stupid slut who needed money to survive. It's because I didn't want you to get hurt. In some screwed up way I was trying to protect you."

Brooke was taken a back by what her mother said. She'd never really thought of it that way before. "I love your father, I do, but I'm not in love with him. It's not the way a husband and wife love each other. I simply love him like a friend."

Brooke sat there, taking it all in. It was definitely an odd way of protecting her, but it was done with good intentions. Her mother who didn't have a maternal bone in her body had done something to protect her daughter that didn't involve money. "Why live like that though? Living a life without love, what kind of life is that?"

"You can't be completely happy Brooke. It just doesn't happen. But I'd rather be with a wonderful man that takes care of me whom I don't love, than be with a man I love who I know will only end up hurting me. That pain hurts a lot more than living a loveless life." Mrs. Davis got up from her spot and walked around the island to give her daughter a hug, something she hadn't done since Brooke was six years old. She placed a kiss on her head and Brooke brought her hand up to rest on her mother's forearm.

They sat in the moment for a while neither one saying anything. Brooke was soaking in everything and for once, she finally understood her crazy mother. She looked up at her mother who was examining the ring on her right hand. Brooke didn't know who it was from, but guessing on their recent conversation, it was probably someone who could have made her really happy.

Mrs. Davis looked up and offered Brooke a small smile. The moment had gotten personal, too personal for her taste and she wasn't going to divulge any more information, at least not today. "So, how about I take you and the kids out to breakfast instead?"

Brooke shook her head, her mother walking back to her seat across from her. "I can cook Mom. It's fine."

"Well that's too bad Brookie because we're going out to eat." The sentence would have ticked Brooke off but she knew her mother meant well.

"Fine," Brooke said as Sophia walked sluggishly into the kitchen.

"Mom, what's for..." She trailed off, yawning and scratching her head. When her eyes opened she caught sight of the other brunette in the room. "Grandma Davis!" she shouted, suddenly alert.

"Hi honey," Mrs. Davis said, getting up to hug her granddaughter. "When your brothers wake up, we're going to go out to breakfast and then, how about we go to the mall? Hm?"

Sophia's eyes lit up and all Brooke could do was laugh. "They don't need to sleep in any later. They still have tomorrow anyway," Sophia said before turning on her heels and leaving the kitchen.

"Don't wake your brothers!" Brooke called after her but she knew it was no use. "Honestly Mom. You spoil them."

"I'm their grandmother. It comes with the job description."


	10. Collide

Hey everyone! This chapter has been a LOOOOOONG time coming hasn't it? lol First off thank you so much for the reviews and I'm sorry this chapter isn't longer. I wasn't sure if I was as focused in this chapter but my beta assured me I wasthanks big time Cass. Thsi chapter would have been up sooner but Cass was busy. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

_There was a feeling in the pit of her stomach and she tried to shake it but she couldn't. She tried to pass it off as hunger but again, she couldn't. The feeling in the pit of her stomach was the sheer guilt that she felt. She had slept with Lucas. She wasn't supposed to sleep with Lucas, she wasn't supposed to have feelings for Lucas. Especially while he was with Peyton._

_She lifted her hand to his door slowly, her hand suddenly feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds. She knocked three times and stood back, waiting for him to answer. Maybe she shouldn't say anything, maybe she should just let Lucas and Peyton figure things out, they always did. But, the feeling in her stomach began to rise and she realized that if Lucas didn't open the door soon, she was going to throw up on his porch._

_Just in time, he opened the door, one of his ear buds hanging on his chest, the other placed securely in his ear. "Broo-" That was as far as he got before she pushed past him, dropping her purse and the plastic bag on the ground, running to the bathroom. She didn't even get the bathroom door shut, instead focusing on getting the toilet lid up. This was the worst feeling she had ever felt. _

_She emptied the contents of her stomach, Lucas coming up behind her to hold back her hair as the second wave began to come out. She squeezed her eyes shut, not being able to look down at what was happening. Whether she'd admit it or not, it was also to keep back the tears that desperately wanted to fall. It was almost pointless to buy the tests. _

"_Are you okay?" he asked once she slumped down on to the floor, leaning over her to flush the toilet._

_She laughed bitterly at his statement. "When have I _ever _been okay?" She shook her head and he looked down at her confused. "No, I'm really not okay." Despite her laughter a few moments ago, all cheeriness, bitter or otherwise, was gone from her body. "Go get the bag I dropped."_

_He did as he was told like a good little boy and when he returned, his eyes were wide with fear and tears had already began to come down her face. "We fucked up," she muttered quietly, so quietly that he had barely heard her over the sobs that escaped her lips._

She'd been thinking about the time before they got together a lot lately. She wasn't delusional, she knew that Sophia shouldn't have happened because, well, she and Lucas shouldn't have happened. Not under those circumstances anyway, not while he was with Peyton.

She threw the People magazine on to the glass coffee table. She only managed to get halfway through- to the book reviews- before she had to stop. She was reading the review for the book called _Lust In Translation_ and it was pointing out too many things to her. Like how people turn their affairs into relationships they never meant to have. That's how she and Lucas rekindled their relationship although their one night of sex would hardly count as an affair. It was what Lucas had been doing with Peyton after she had found out.

She laughed bitterly. How fucked up was that? It was just a cycle with them; love, then be hurt by the two people who mean the most. She knew that when Peyton found out she was pregnant that she was angry. Had the tables been turned, Brooke would've wanted to kill Peyton. Yet, there Peyton was really trying to make it work for all three of them. They had all tried but it just didn't work out the way they planned it. Life is funny like that though, it never ever turns out how you thought it would.

However, her mother had gotten her thinking about a lot of things. Lucas always seemed to hurt her, but the thought of never being near him ever again made her hurt inside. She was still angry, on some level she thought she'd always be angry, but Lucas was always that guy for her. The one who always had her heart. She got up from her spot on the couch and began to walk upstairs, passing the wall of photos as she did so.

So many pictures, so many drawings. Family portraits that were professionally done, other's taken by their digital camera, and of course, the drawings were done by Peyton. She smiled the smallest smile despite herself. Peyton really had been apart of their family. She had been there for most of the big moments, and always seemed to capture the most random moments that turned out to be some of Brooke's greatest memories.

_Peyton walked into the house lazily, tossing her bag of art supplies to the side and slumped on to the couch. "I hate work," she mumbled, receiving a soft chuckle from the brunette on the couch adjacent to her._

"_Work is never fun," Lucas added, playing with a lock of his slumbering daughter's sandy blonde hair. Brooke nudged him playfully before settling herself against the side of Lucas' body, careful not to wake her 3-month-old son._

_Peyton glanced over at the small family, a twinge of pain and jealousy forming in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to have that. She wanted to come home to her big house that she shared with her husband, and her two children asleep in their laps. More importantly, she wanted all that with Lucas._

_In her mind, she slapped herself. She wasn't supposed to think that, not about her best friend's husband. 'God! Why can't I just move on?!' she yelled in her head. It'd been four years and she still hadn't gotten over the fact that Lucas was really with Brooke, that he always would be._

_She closed her eyes, not being able to look at the family any longer. What made looking at them even worse was that they looked perfect. They were the perfect couple, with the perfectly cute boy and girl asleep on top of them. At least now she knew what she was going to draw Brooke for her birthday next month._

"_Peyton?" Brooke asked softly, her son waking slightly, digging his head further into his mother's breast, concentrating on the soft heartbeat he heard to fall back asleep. "Are you okay?" she whispered._

_Peyton shrugged, glancing over at Lucas whose eyes were closed and she thought for a second that maybe he fell asleep. She wasn't okay, she hadn't been for a long time. She'd never fully felt perfectly content since her mother had been alive. She sighed again, she hated the constant reminder of children. She had never found herself striving to be a mother but somehow found herself being a mother to Jenny, a child she really, really loved. She wanted to feel that way again. To have someone totally dependent on her, someone who really loved her and someone she could love back. _

_It felt like all of her friends were adults: married with children. Where was she? She had no boyfriend, she had almost no family, she was essentially alone. Brooke and Lucas, and Nathan and Haley tried their best but it wasn't the same. It always seemed to boil back down to her need for a real family. "It'll happen for you Peyton. It just takes time."_

_Peyton was pulled out of her thoughts and found Brooke giving her a small smile._

Peyton glanced up at the clock that hung on the wall above the menu boards. It was almost three and she hadn't accomplished much with her commission. She was having a lot of trouble drawing recently, guilt she assumed, finally catching up with her.

She had made such a mess of her life. She was completely and utterly alone except for her dad. She had fucked up every good detail in her life. She had no friends and now she didn't even have the tiniest sliver of Lucas.

She gathered her things up, preparing to leave the small cafe she had adopted as her own in past years. She managed to drop a book of loose sketches and she figured it was just as well. Everything was going wrong in her life, adding klutz to her resume would polish it off.

She crouched down and started gathering her things when another set of hands appeared over the cream colored papers. These hands were familiar to her though, having roamed her body before. Her eyes traveled up the arms and up to the man's face.

"Hey Peyton." His voice was still as casual as ever, he still gave her the crooked smile that she loved.

She found herself smiling for the first time in what seemed like weeks. "Jake."


	11. Wrong Choice

I AM SOOO SORRY! I feel horrible for not updating as well as I would like and I promise you all it WILL get better. Especially now that my beta's life is calming down lol. Anyway, the next chapter should be up within a weekor two.. finals are coming up so. Thank you so much for the reviews though, they make my day and I can't believe at how many I have! I hope you all love this chapter and I'm sorry to leave it with a semi-cliffhanger. Enjoy!

_Brooke moved about the small bathroom, fanning herself a little as she did. Her belly kept brushing up against the counter, something that had come to thoroughly annoy her. She glanced into the bedroom she shared with Peyton to see if she had finally gotten out from under the covers. She sighed to herself when she realized Peyton hadn't moved. _

_She wasn't trying to intentionally hurt Peyton. She hadn't meant to sleep with Lucas, she hadn't meant to get pregnant, she hadn't meant for Lucas to break up with Peyton and then ask her out. It all just sort of happened. It wasn't like Brooke didn't have feelings for Lucas, so why should she have said no? He was after all the father of her baby. They should be allowed to go out to dinner and a movie._

_She leaned forward on her tip toes so that her belly sat on the low counter and got closer to the mirror, applying minimal eye liner. When she was done, she surveyed her appearance for the last time. Her outfit was simple. Cropped dojo jeans paired with a yellow top that had watermelons all over it. Her boobs where huge, a lot bigger than she thought they'd ever get without surgical help. "These boobs are getting ridiculous," Brooke said light heartily, glancing back out to Peyton, hoping for a response. The most she got was more movement of the covers._

"_Damn it Peyton," Brooke started, walking her way over to Peyton's bed and sitting on the edge. Peyton moved further away from Brooke and pulled the blanket over her head. "You can't stay under that blanket forever."_

"_Watch me," she grunted from under the striped blanket. She couldn't exactly blame Brooke for this. She had told her that it was okay to go out with him, even though Brooke said that she wouldn't if Peyton was uncomfortable with it._

_The doorbell rang and Brooke looked in between Peyton and the door that lead to their living room. "Do you want me to cancel?" Again, Peyton shook her head even though her mind was screaming YES. "Alright, then I'm gonna go." She pushed herself off of the bed, one of her hands finding it's way to her belly. "Do you want me to bring you back food?"_

"_I'm fine Brooke," Peyton said from underneath the blanket._

"_I'll bring you home a burger. If you don't eat it at least I know I will," Brooke said, grabbing her purse and opening the bedroom door. "And please shower before I get back. You're starting to smell."_

"How have you been?" he asked politely and she was torn between telling the truth and telling a lie. Lies always seemed to roll off her tongue so easily that it seemed like the right thing to do.

"Great," she said, adding a smile to her face, trying to reassure him although she wasn't sure why. She hadn't seen him in years, briefly talking to him at Brooke and Lucas' small wedding.

He didn't say anything, instead looking at her intently, something that got her a little worried. "You're lying." She often wondered why it was that she could never lie to him. Lucas believed that all she had really wanted was sex when they were sneaking around behind Brooke's back. Yet all she did was say one word to Jake, someone she hadn't seen in a long time, and he already knew that she was not great.

She let the smile drop off of her face, and ran her free hand through her hair. "I really haven't been doing good. But, it's my own fault and I'll just have to tough it up and accept it." She tried to force a small laugh towards the end, but it came out almost like a sob. Worry was etched into his face and he motioned for her to sit back down.

"What's wrong?" He seemed so concerned even though he really didn't need to be. He could have easily come up to her and let her lie go by with out word and leave as quickly as he came. But, he had sat her down and he really seemed to care.

"It's a long story and I don't want to dump my feelings on you," Peyton said, rubbing her eyes to keep the tears back. He looked like he was about to protest, but she beat him to it. "Jake, really. I don't want to talk about it." He nodded, but still sat tense in his seat. "So, what have you been up to?"

He shrugged. "Not a lot. Been busy with Jenny. She has a boyfriend and got her license so I've been pretty tense lately." He laughed a little, rubbing the back of his neck, something she was so used to seeing Lucas do when he was stressed. She sighed, turning her focus back to Jake, trying to shake the thoughts of Lucas from her head.

* * *

Finley came down the stairs slowly, finding his mother sitting on the couch drawing something. He walked up next to her, peering down at the tablet that laid in her hands. "What are you drawing?"

Brooke glanced up at her youngest son and smiled softly. "I'm drawing a dress." Finley nodded, now just looking at his mother. When she realized he wasn't going away, she put down her pencil to focus on him. "What is it Fin?"

"Why aren't you helping Grandma and Grandpa come in?" Finley asked innocently and Brooke sat up.

"What do you mean?" Brooke asked, standing up now.

"They're outside. I saw them from my window." Brooke opened her front door to find Dan and Karen Scott at the end of her driveway, suitcases in hand. Finley ran past her excitedly as she stood there shocked. They hadn't called to tell them they were coming and she still didn't know if they knew Lucas had moved out and that they were no longer together.

She let out a deep breath, tucking her hair behind her ears before 'waddling' towards the three people in front of her. Finley was on Dan's shoulders and Karen was ahead of them, closer to Brooke.

"Sorry to pop in on you like this," Karen said cheerfully yet somewhat cautiously and Brooke realized then that she knew. Brooke kept her fake smile on her face and shook her head, in a way that meant that it was okay. She hugged Karen awkwardly because of her large belly and because she wasn't really related to the woman anymore, at least not yet.

When they released each other, Dan was waiting next, Finley now with his feet firmly planted on the ground. "You look wonderful Brooke," he said genuinely and a bit of her real smile showed through. Dan always handed out a lot of compliments when she was pregnant because that's when he said she was the most beautiful. His son had always agreed with him.

"So it's safe to assume you're spending the night?" Brooke laughed and the elder Scotts nodded.

"We hope that's okay."

"Of course it is!" Brooke said, ushering them all back inside.

"As a way of repaying you for letting us barge in like this, I'm going to make dinner," Karen said, taking off her jacket as Sophia and Wyatt made their way into the living room.

"Grandma! Grandpa!" they both shouted, running over to the cluster in front of the door.

"Kids! Let your grandparents get in the house and put their things away before you ambush them!" Brooke said, shaking her head. They saw Karen and Dan quite frequently; they only lived about a half an hour away and Madison was always over, hanging out with Sophia, considering they were close in age. They all popped over quite frequently which is why it was more of a shock when Brooke had seen the suitcases.

After more hugs, Karen and Dan finally made it to the spare bedroom, putting their bags down on the bed, before going back into the living room. They departed, Dan going out to play basketball with Wyatt and Karen going into the kitchen to start dinner.

"Honey, sit down. I said I was doing dinner."

Brooke looked up from chopping the potatoes at the sound of Karen's voice. "I'm pregnant not handicapped Karen."

Karen rolled her eyes and took the knife from the younger brunette's hand. "Sit. You're pregnant which means you should be resting." Brooke obliged reluctantly. They sat in silence, the only sound was of the knife hitting the cutting board. "So," Karen started, grabbing a large pot from one of the many cabinets surrounding the kitchen, "how have you been?"

She was honestly tired of everyone asking her that. She was pregnant which already meant she felt like crap and she had to go through it all alone which only made the situation even crappier. When she told them all she was fine, they'd cast her sympathetic looks, and tell her that she didn't need to put a strong front, that she could tell them if she still felt bad. If they were already going to assume that she wasn't fine, what the hell was the point of asking?

She shrugged. "It's gotten better," she answered truthfully to the question for the first time and Karen stopped transferring the potatoes to the pan momentarily to look at her. After a moment of staring, Karen nodded, satisfied.

The doorbell rang and both brunettes looked up. "I'll be right back," Brooke said before getting down from the stool. Karen nodded and Brooke left the kitchen, making her way into the living room.

She opened the door to see him standing there, four bouquets of flowers in his hands. She noted that one was all lilies, Sophia's favorite flower, the others were roses: burgundy, purple, and orange. "What are you doing here?" She was about to ask the same question but her daughter beat her to it. Brooke turned, following Lucas' eyes to Sophia who is standing on the stairs. Out of the corner of her eye, Brooke could see Karen who was drying her hands with a towel, observing the situation.

"I invited him," Karen said in a monotone voice, hoping to keep everyone calm. Brooke was tempted to send a glare in Karen's direction but chose instead to turn back to look at Lucas.

"I'll leave if you want me too," Lucas said as Brooke eyed him up and down suspiciously. "But these are for Sophia, the purple are for you Mom, and the others are for you Brooke." He held them out for her to grab and she took them all, her hand brushing against his. They stood there awkwardly, he was staring at his shoes and she was staring at the flowers that laid in her hands. Sophia and Karen had come up behind her standing next to each other, each wondering what Brooke would do.

Sophia wanted him to go, not ready to let her father be back in the house he left. Karen wanted him to stay, to talk things out with his wife. He looked up from his shoes to see Brooke staring back at him. "I'll just go." He turned away and Brooke panicked briefly, not sure what to do.

"Wait."


	12. When the Heartache Ends

Hello everyone! Here's another chapter for y'all. I think it's a bit longer than normal although everytime I say that it turns to be pretty short lol. Big thanks to my beta who puts up with my horrible grammar lol. I apologize for the light updates recently, school has been hecticfinals PLUS i have to transfer to a new school so i have to get all that in order but thats not excuse. Anyway, thank you oh so much for the reviews and enjoy!

Everyone, including Brooke, had shocked looks on their faces when the words escaped her mouth. Lucas turned around slowly, taking a cautious step forward. He wasn't sure if he had imagined the word or if she had really said it. "Wait?"

He could see Sophia clench her fists and jaw as his mother got a hopeful smile on her face. Brooke sighed before she nodded, moving the flowers into one hand, using her free one to wave Lucas back. "Mother," Sophia said in a harsh whisper.

"We'll talk later," Brooke said calmly, handing Sophia her lilies before turning to Karen and handing her the purple bouquet. Karen's smile was wide but as soon as she saw the glare Brooke was sporting, it faded. "We'll be talking later as well."

Lucas walked back up the steps to the house he once lived in. Brooke and Karen already returned to the kitchen but Sophia still stood in the doorway. He didn't even attempt to smile because he knew that would only make her more mad. She threw the bouquet to his feet and he picked them back up slowly. "I don't want them," she said before returning upstairs.

* * *

"Sit," Brooke instructed as she, followed by Karen, walked into Sophia's room. Sophia sat up in her bed and Karen perched herself on the corner. "Let me start out by saying I did not appreciate the way you two acted when Lucas was at the door." She felt like she was reprimanding two small children when in really she was talking to a teenager and her mother in law.

She shut the door to Sophia's room before she continued. "I know that you hate your father right now," Brooke said, her attention solely on Sophia. "I know that you don't think he should be forgiven but I'm trying to be at least a little civil now. He is your father and this is his house and he does have rights to be here. Especially to see Finley. You and Wyatt are older and know what your dad did, but Finley doesn't and he needs his dad. So please, if you can't stick this dinner out for me, then do it for your brother." Sophia sighed and nodded reluctantly. "Thank you."

Sophia got up and hugged her mom guiltily. "Maybe he'll choke on his food," Sophia whispered before she pulled out of the hug. She immediately mumbled a 'sorry' when she caught sight of the look on Brooke's face.

"Go downstairs and be nice. We'll be down in a few minutes." Sophia did as she was told and when Brooke heard the door click shut, she turned her attention to Karen. "How _dare_ you!" Brooke said with a raised voice. "Not only do you show up UNANNOUNCED to stay the night but you invite over Lucas too! Last time I checked this wasn't your marriage!"

Karen cleared her throat and re-crossed her legs, thrown a bit back by Brooke's outburst. "I didn't think you'd be this mad," Karen offered meekly.

"Well you thought wrong! God!" Brooked turned away from the other woman, pacing in her daughter's room. "How the hell did you think I'd be even semi-okay with this? Did Lucas even tell you WHY we're getting a divorce?"

"Yes he did. Brooke, please sit down so we can talk about this like adults," Karen said, patting a spot next to her on her granddaughter's purple comforter.

"Why should I? Springing this on me wasn't very adult now was it?" Brooke barked before closing her eyes and rubbing her belly. After a few deep breaths, she opened her eyes and sat down at Sophia's desk. She would act like an adult now even though she wanted to throw a bitch fit like she did in high school. "Why did you do this?" Her voice was calm and the baby stopped kicking.

"Do you remember when I was pregnant with Madison?" Brooke nodded. It seemed that every crappy explanation came with a trip down memory lane. "Everyone thought I was crazy for getting closer to Dan again, especially Lucas. He didn't understand how I could just forgive and forget everything Dan put me through. You know as well as I do that he still doesn't fully understand it."

"What does this have to do with me and Lucas?" She had already begun tapping her foot impatiently.

Karen sighed. "I was able to forgive him Brooke. He did a lot of horrible stuff to me but I put it past us because I love him. All I'm trying to say is maybe it isn't as hard to forgive Lucas as you think. I know you still love him. That much is obvious, especially when you told him to stay."

Brooke scoffed. "It only took you 18 years, a death and a baby to forgive him!" Karen flinched at Brooke's statement. Brooke knew it could possibly be considered as a low blow, but those were usually the ones that held the most truth. "The situation between Lucas and I is different from yours! Dan didn't cheat on you THREE times, each single time with your best friend, the last time taking place after 4 kids and 13 years of marriage! You have no idea what kind of pain we've been going through these past 2 years so can you do me a favor and stay the hell out of our marital problems!"

Karen didn't move an inch until the bedroom door shut behind Brooke.

* * *

She stood by the table, preparing it for the awkward dinner that they would be consuming in less than an hour. Her bangs were pulled back and secured on top of her head with what he imagined were three bobby pins. He always loved it when she wore it like that, the rest of her hair always framed her face perfectly, curling a little at the ends, and whenever he imagined what she was doing, her hair was always like that. It made her look so soft and motherly, strong and young. She wore it like that on their first date after he broke up with Peyton and she wore it like that on their wedding day. She wore it like that when she wanted something from him, knowing that the hairstyle would help, especially since he could never keep his hands off her for long.

Her belly was poking out from the blue jersey knit dress that she wore, her belly button visible through the material. Her breasts were full, her cleavage just about a mile long in the dress. He sighed as he realized her body preparing and changing in order to accommodate the new baby. He loved watching her body change even though it freaked her out. She never understood why he enjoyed seeing her get fat, but he always found it so amazing. Her belly grew larger to house his baby for 9 months and her breasts grew larger in order to feed his baby. She would go through hours of labor to get his baby into the world and then smile as she offered him the small bundle that always resided in her arms. She gave him two beautiful boys and a gorgeous daughter and she'd done it with a dimpled smile on her face.

Her hand traveled to her belly and when he saw her dimpled smile appear, he realized that his daughter just kicked. He had felt their daughter kick only a few times throughout the pregnancy, three if he wanted to be exact. The first time was when they had gone out to see a movie and she kicked for the first time right in the middle of the movie. The second time was the night of their Christmas party. The third and final time was right before Wyatt came into the living room to tell Brooke about what he'd seen. He'd give anything to feel the baby kick just one more time.

She looked up from the pile of plates that were in her left hand to find Lucas staring at her intently, Finley sitting on his lap, watching some basketball game on the TV. It seemed like before she knew he was cheating on her, back when they were together and happy. He had a small smile on his face and she noticed that his eyes had moved to her belly. Still, she noted that his eyes weren't like they used to be. There was sadness in his icy blue eyes and she felt torn.

She wanted to comfort him and hug him, place his strong warm hands on her belly and tell him that everything was going to be okay. She wanted to tell him to move back in and be apart of their family again. A little part of her though was happy that he was sad. He hurt her so bad after telling her repeatedly that he'd never hurt her again, that nothing was going on, that she was wonderful and he didn't need anyone else. He didn't deserve to be happy.

It took him a few minutes to realize that she was staring back at him. He placed Finley down on the couch and told him that he'd be right back. When he reached Brooke, she had resumed setting the table, setting down the rest of the plates in her hand. He came up next to her, moving one plate a little to the left. "I wish somebody would have informed me we were back in junior year." He looked at her confused and she shook her head as she began setting down silverware. "The night you moved back in with your mom, I was setting the table and you did that." She chose not to mention that during their junior year he managed to rip out her heart by fooling around with Peyton.

His hand froze above the plate and she brushed past him, walking over to the other side of the table, having gotten tired of reaching over the table with her belly. He cleared his throat and leaned across the table, opening his hand. "Go sit down. I can do this."

She handed him half of the silverware in her hand. "If your mother wont let me cook then I'm setting the table." Ever since Brooke had Sophia, she hated sitting around. She could never just sit back and relax. On Christmas, she would cook a big feast with Karen and would always be the last to eat, asking everybody if they had absolutely everything they needed. Most years, they had to force her to sit down and eat. Once she was done of course, she'd get up and start on the dishes and once again, they'd have to sit her down and tell her to relax.

He cleared his throat. "Can we talk?" She set down the last piece of the silverware in her hand and rested her hands on her belly, looking up at him. She nodded warily and began walking towards the back door.

She sat down on their bench swing once they were outside and he stood sat down on the steps, his back up against the post. One of their shih tzus ran up to him and jumped on his lap, settling his head on Lucas' leg. The dog had always reminded him of Rocket. "Why'd you get me burgundy and orange?" Her voice broke him out of his thoughts and he glanced up from the dog to look at him.

"Burgundy means beauty and orange means passion." He was going to go into further explanation but then she nodded, returning her gaze out to their yard. "You look beautiful Brooke." He could have sworn he saw a small smile form on her lips, if only for a second.

Then, her hands reached up and she pulled the three bobby pins that he had assumed were holding her hair back out of her hair, letting her bangs fall. She brushed them to the side of her face, tucking one side behind her ear. "Am I not good enough?" She had asked Nathan the same question and she'd never received an answer, something that worried her.

He jumped up from his place on the steps. "No! God no Brooke! How could you even think that? You have _always_ been good enough."

She shook her head. "But I haven't have I? I wasn't good enough for you junior year, or senior year, or now. That's why people cheat right? Because the person they're with can't give them what they want." Her voice is calm and filled with grief. She wasn't angry anymore and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Because at least when Brooke was mad, he couldn't see the hurt in her eyes. "You can never stay away from her Lucas."

She stood up slowly, wobbling due to her belly. He reached forward and grabbed her arm so she could steady herself. They froze for a moment as she stared at his hand. He let go of it slowly and then shoved both hands in his pockets. "I know that I'm not enough Lucas. But thank you for trying to make believe I am."

* * *

They had been talking for a while now, migrating out of the coffee shop and back to his parents' house. He had made her dinner as she sat at the kitchen table, finishing the commission she had tried to finish earlier that day. She had slowly told him bits and pieces. It was hard to keep it all inside when he asked about Brooke and Lucas and everyone else. She thought of lying but knew it would be pointless since he could see right through her.

He had reacted well. He saw both sides, he sympathized with Peyton, but also with Brooke. Peyton had been left alone a lot of times by everyone she cared about that it was natural for her to go back to the one person that never did: Lucas. But, he didn't hesitate to tell Peyton that it was wrong and that Brooke didn't deserve that, no matter what she could have done to Peyton. That part of the conversation hurt, but that's how Jake was, completely honest with her. She was a better person when she was with him.

They were on the porch now, sitting in the cold Tree Hill night air, looking at the area around them. "This has been nice." She glanced over at him and saw him nod in response, squeezing her shoulder and adding a small smile. She was feeling safer than she had in years.

_"This is nice." Peyton glanced over at Lucas, a smile on her face. They sat on the steps outside his bedroom. He smiled back at her, kissing her cheek. "I love you."_

_Her smile got a little wider. "I love you too." She kissed him like she meant it, trying to get him to kiss like he meant it too. He didn't though, so she rested her head on his shoulder. "I wish we could spend forever like this." She already knew they wouldn't though. It wasn't the same when he said 'I love you' anymore, it'd been different ever since Brooke reentered the picture. Some days he fooled her though, some days she really did believe him when he said it. But there were other days, tonight being one of them, where she knew it wasn't true. He was saying it just to make her happy, to make it seem like he was still in the relationship. It killed her when he'd look at Brooke and get _the look_ she so desperately missed._

She had felt safe and horrible in Lucas' arms back then. "Jake." He turned to look at her and was met with her lips crashing against his. He was surprised but responded almost immediately. He turned and wrapped his arms around her small waist, bringing her closer. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him like she meant it. He knew she didn't though. After all they'd talked about today, she knew she didn't because he knew that she wished he was Lucas. Always had and always will. So after a few moments he pulled away. That kiss would have to last him a while.

She looked confused and she saw the look on his face. Something was wrong. "I love you," she blurted.

"You have no idea how much I love you Peyton." He had the look in his eye, the one she craved to see in Lucas'. "But you don't love me as much as you love him." The truth disgusted her now and she got up off of the swing. He wasn't supposed to say this. He was supposed to smile and say that they could be together and that he could take her away from all of this. That he could take her away from Lucas and Brooke and they could just start over.

"I can't replace him." He knew damn well that they couldn't form a relationship now. Peyton was in a confused and shaky area and being with someone was the last thing she needed. She was so used to everyone leaving her, but the thing was, she always had someone. She'd never learned to be independent alone. Until she could do that, all of her relationships were doomed.

She laughed, one that turned bitter. "It's funny," she started, walking down the steps with her purse and sketches in hand, "since he doesn't love me as much as he loves _her_."


	13. Cupid's Chokehold

Hey everyone! Thank you SOOOOOOOO much for the reviews! I seriously can't believe how many there are for this story! This will unfortunatly be the last chapter of this story for a while. But never fear, ther will be more chapters! I think I'm going to take the next couple of weeks to finish up City Of Devils only 4 more chapters left of that story so this chapter is going to have to last you guys a while! That is why I think you guys will all appriceiate the ending of this chapter! I will tell you right now DO NOT GET YOUR HOPES UP! There will be more brucas interaction but it's not gonna be all happy. Big thanks to Cass who is beta-ing this for me! Anyway, I've rambled long enough, enjoy!

The boys, with the exception of Wyatt, came into the dinning room, sweat glistening on their heads, a ball tucked under Dan's arm. Sophia already sat at the table, right next to Brooke's usual spot. "Does a day go by when you _don't_ play ball?"

Karen walked in, carrying the pan of steaming lasagna, followed by Brooke who carried the basket of bread. "It's impossible for them to stay away from a ball," Karen said with a proud smile.

"You three, upstairs and change. I don't want sweaty and smelly men at my table." Brooke ruffled Finley's sandy blonde hair before patting his back and gently pushing him towards the stairs. Dan smiled at her and gently squeezed her shoulder before following Finley. Brooke took a step towards Lucas before turning on her heel quickly. For a second, she forgot they weren't together anymore.

When they were together, after Dan, Finley, and Wyatt (back when he still played with his father) would leave the room, she'd walk up to him and stand on her tip toes before pressing a short kiss on to his lips. "You too Lucas." She kept her gaze off of him, not wanting to look at his defeated face. "Tell Wyatt to come down too, please."

"Anything for you," he muttered before walking out of the room slowly. It made him smile at the fact that she'd come towards him. He knew that had it been three months ago, her lips would have met his. But, then she turned and it all came back to him.

He walked into the room he used to share with her, the smell of strawberries gathered underneath his nose. Ever since he could remember, that's what Brooke smelled like. He sat down on the edge of the bed he used to call his, the strawberry smell was joined with the smell of green apple. When Sophia was three, Brooke tired a new shampoo- green apple- and refused to use anything else since.

He looked over at her bedside table, three frames residing there. The largest was of the kids. They had fallen asleep in front of the television, one year old Finley sandwiched in between nine year old Sophia and five year old Wyatt. Sophia's arm was thrown over Finley and Wyatt's mouth hung open all while Finley slept content in the middle sucking on his binkie.

The second picture was from their high school graduation, all of them wearing their blue caps and gowns, Brooke's small stomach visible. They were gathered around Karen who laid in a hospital bed, Madison the pink bundle that laid in her arms. They're all holding up their diplomas and smiling, his eyes on nobody but Brooke.

The third picture was from high school too, only this frame held the photo strip they took at the mall. Four pictures of them acting crazy, acting like a normal couple, and of course, sneaking a kiss for the last picture. They had spent the whole day at the mall at Brooke's request and Lucas wished he could say it was simpler back then. In a way it was. Their relationship was still new and he hadn't been spending any time with Peyton there for blocking out all feelings for her. But, their relationship then turned sour and he had screwed up for the very first time.

He had gotten changed after what seemed like hours in that room and was making his way over to their sons' room, rubbing his chest to try and relieve some of the pressure he felt. He heard the thumping of the rubber ball on the hard wood floors before he even approached the room and he sighed to himself. He knocked on the door and waited a moment before entering. "Mom said it was time to come down for dinner." Wyatt ignored him and continued to bounce the ball against the wall. "Wyatt."

He caught the ball one last time before putting it down on his bed and brushing past his father, mumbling something incoherent. Lucas sighed to himself and walked slowly down the stairs.

He found his family already sitting around the table and quickly took his seat at the table. For the next few minutes the only sound that was made was the silverware hitting the ceramic plates. "This is nice." Everyone looked up from their respective plates and looked over at Karen.

"This is really good Grandma." Karen smiled over at her youngest grandson before glancing at Wyatt who was pushing his food around on his plate.

"Wyatt, why aren't you eating?" Wyatt's attention turned to his mother. "Your grandmother doesn't cook dinner for us very often and I know you like her lasagna." He glanced back down at his food and Brooke sighed. He'd open up to her later when everyone had gone to bed and he'd crawl into her over sized bed to have one of their late night talks.

"Sophia, could you pass me the bread?" He put down his fork, trying to ignore the sharp pain he was feeling in his chest. He had already begun to feel full even before he started eating but he was with his family and he'd force food down if he had to. He watched as Sophia rolled her eyes and grabbed the basket of bread, handing it to him.

She placed a sweet dimpled smile on her face, one that reminded him of when she was little, when she had no cares in the world. "Don't choke."

Her words stunned him and he had to blink a few times in order for him to actually get out of his shocked state. "Sophia!" Brooke's words were loud and clear and Sophia's smile quickly faded from her face and shrunk into her chair. "Apologize to your father."

"Why should I? What has he done for me to apologize to him! If anything he should be apologizing to us!" Brooke let out a defeated sigh, cursing the fact that Sophia had gotten the ability to argue from her. She looked across the table to give Lucas a small smile, she noticed that something wasn't right. He had set the basket down next to him and was now holding on to his chest, his eyes closed tight.

"Lucas?" She pushed her chair out and looked over at her husband, concerned with his actions. She heard Dan mumble something but her only focus was on Lucas alone. "Lucas?"

He was feeling dizzy and sick and he was trying with all his might to regain focus. Then, the pain in his chest got worse and his whole world began to go dark as he fell out of his chair. "Lucas!"

"I'll call 911." Dan immediately rushed to the phone as Brooke made her way over to Lucas. Karen was already beside him, his head resting in her lap.

"Sophia, take your brothers upstairs. Now." Sophia did as she was told and led Wyatt and Finley upstairs as Brooke slid her way to the floor. "Lucas, come on wake up. Please Lucas."

* * *

Brooke sat in the waiting room, her foot tapping impatiently as she waited for Haley to show up. She had already been told that Lucas was fine but still unconscious and despite everything couldn't find the strength to go into the room and watch him. She brought her hand up to her mouth and began chewing on her thumbnail. It was a horrible habit but she only did it when she was nervous. She heard footsteps coming down the hall and looked up to see Haley coming towards her quickly. "Is he okay?"

Brooke nodded and Haley let out a relieved sigh. "He's still unconscious though." Haley took the seat next to Brooke and laid her purse and jacket next to her. "I can't go in and see him like that Haley."

"I know honey. But we both know you'll feel better if you do." Haley woke up hat morning, hating Lucas with a fiery passion. But, here she was at 11 o'clock at night, trying to keep back the tears that begged to leave her eyes. Her best friend may be a dumbass but he was still her best friend.

"This really got me thinking you know." She doesn't need to look at the brunette to know that she herself is trying to keep back tears as well. "He could be gone at any minute and I don't want to leave the situation between us like this. But at the same time I can't let it go. I'll be looking at him and just want to kiss him Haley! And then I'll remember what he did and how long he did it for and then I just want to slap him! On top of it all I'm super hormonal and I just keep second guessing myself and I don't know what to do!"

Brooke ran her hands through her hair, aggravated with herself. "And I keep asking myself if I'm giving up too easily. If I'm throwing in the towel over something that we could overcome." Her voice isn't angry anymore, more sad and it reminds Haley all too much of high school. She'd seen Brooke cry more than anyone, except maybe Peyton. "He's just done this to me _so_ many times that I feel like I shouldn't take him back. that I shouldn't put myself through the pain again."

Brooke rested her head on Haley's shoulder, closing her eyes to try and block out the world around her. Haley was usually so good with giving her words of comfort but this time she heard none. For the first time Haley didn't have any input. She was just as confused as Brooke but she also knew that she shouldn't tell Brooke how to run her marriage.

"It'll be okay in the end," Haley whispered as she rubbed Brooke's back soothingly. Haley had known Brooke for years and these were always the times she feared the most. When the bubbly cheery girl hit her lows, when she turned into the sad lost and scared girl she'd always been at heart.

After an hour of sobbing on Haley's shoulder, Brooke gathered up enough courage to go in and look at her emotionless husband. He lied in bed looking peaceful although his face was blank. Just looking at him with all the wires and tubes sticking out of him, hearing the continuous beep of his heart rate monitor made her want to break down in tears again. She made her way over to his bed slowly, pulling the chair in the room closer to his bed. She grabbed his hand, letting her thumb run over it softly. "You gotta wake up Luke."

* * *

He opened his eyes slowly, wincing a little at the pain he felt in his chest. He blinked hard, taking in his surroundings. Clean white room with bad wallpaper and an annoying florescent light that was flickering. He tried to lift his right hand slowly but was met with resistance. He turned his head slowly to see a brown head of hair lying on his hand. He slowly slid his hand out from under her head, a small smile forming on his lips. He hoped that he wouldn't wake her, but she stirred and then lifted her head.

"Hi," he said weakly.

She smiled a little, not showing the extent of her happiness. "Hi." She stood up and moved closer to where his head laid, wanting nothing more than to lean down and kiss him. Then, the doctor's words replayed in her head. "Why the hell did you stop taking your medication?" She swatted his hand cautiously, trying to get her point across without causing anymore pain. "Are you that stupid that you would put your life at risk? What about the kids Lucas? What would I have told them? What about our baby Luke?" She was trying to sound angry but it was proving to be harder than she thought.

He shrugged the best he could and closed his eyes tight before reopening them. "I figured I'd deserved to feel the pain. I should have never done what I did to you. I deserved to feel like my heart was ripped out. Lord knows I've done it to you too many times."

Brooke was torn between hugging him and slapping him across the face. "So you would rather _die_ because you think that's what you deserve?" She shook her head, not believing that he was saying that. "Yes, you did something horrible but you do not deserve to **die**. The kids need their father and you can't go around and be selfish like that!" She didn't want to cry because that meant that she was weak and vulnerable and that meant he could work his way back into her heart she wasn't ready for that quiet yet.

"I'm sorry." His voice came out shaky and cracky, his throat dry and scratchy. He really was sorry. He was sorry that he made her worry and sorry he didn't take his medication. He was sorry he was selfish and he was sorry that he didn't think of their children. He was sorry he cheated on her with Peyton and he was sorry he ruined their marriage. He knew he didn't deserve anything from her, that he didn't even deserve her being there. He closed his eyes again, not being able to take the sight of her tear glazed eyes. It seemed like then, he may have also been doing it to hold back his own tears but that attempt was futile. He felt the warm trail of water slide down his cheek.

"Luke." He felt her brush away a few of his tears and he opened his eyes slowly. "How can I make this better?" He knew she wasn't referring to their marriage but some part of him wanted to believe that was referring to.

"I want to feel her kick." His voice was low, not because his throat hurt but because he felt like he was crossing boundaries. He expected her to pull away and get scared, not wanting anymore close contact with him. Instead, she lifted up his hand and placed it on her belly a little to the side, towards the bottom. She pushed his hand a little harder into her belly, hoping their daughter would notice the pressure and kick back. She didn't take his hand off his and even found herself rubbing the back of his hand absentmindedly with her thumb.

They both smiled when they felt her kick.


	14. Big Houses

Hello my wonderful readers! This has been a LOOOONG time coming don't you agree? I don't think I've updated since June which I sincerely apologize for! This chapter hasn't been betaed yet btu as son as I get that copy back from her I'll post it so you guys get the nice pretty polished version. But since I hadn't updated in so logn I figured I'd post what I have! I'm okay with this chapter, it was definitly influenced by my AP english class since I mention the book we just finished reading(kudos if you can figure it out). And umm.. I think that's about it! I hope y'all enjoy!

After leaving his bedside, Brooke got into her large SUV and started her journey home. She stayed with Lucas until he fell asleep, making sure that he was okay. She drove passed the park that she'd played at as a child, the trees barely budding as spring approached. She stopped at a stop sign, her eyes still focussed on the playground. The swings moved back and forth in the wind and if she closed her eyes, she could hear the childish laughter of her and Peyton. Sighing, she pressed the gas petal and turned up the late night talk that was on the radio.

She reached her large house, the one she and Lucas had picked out almost thirteen years ago. She got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk. The sun was barely starting to rise, chasing away the dark of night. The neighborhood was quiet and still around her. Looking up at her majestic home, surrounded by ear deafening silence, all she wanted to do was scream.

She hated that everything seemed so damn perfect on the outside. That everyone seemed to have the perfect spouses and the perfect children and be the perfect person. She hated that the widow next door always put on a smile and that the new couple down the street acted like they were perfectly happy when she _knew_ that they weren't.

She hated how people could pass by her house and think that people who made good choices live in that house. Because only people who've made good choices could afford such a big house. How people could only think good of the people that lived inside. But she'd known ever since she was young that people in big houses are not good people. People in big houses live nothing but lies.

When she finally entered her house, she walked straight to Lucas' office. The dark blue walls were covered, for the most part, with dark wooden bookshelves. His desk sat in front of the large bay window that allowed her to see into the large backyard. Her hand found the light switch expertly in the dark, turning on the dim light. She hadn't been in there since before he left and the room looked so bare without him in there.

She walked over to the desk, her eyes traveling to the only book that laid upon it. The cover was warn and discolored except for the letter that laid in the middle. That still was a deep and vibrant red. It was still the first thing that caught her eye, diverting her attention away from the fairies and nymphs that surrounded the edges.

She sat down in the brown leather chair and picked the book up carefully in her hands. She never asked him what books he read because she knew that she'd never read them. She had only read three books that he had read. 'The Winter of Our Discontent', which she had read up to chapter 5 and then skimmed. Then there was 'The Catcher in the Rye' that she never finished because she found out about Lucas and Peyton for the first time. Then, finally, was that book.

It had been assigned in english during their junior year and it was the only classic book she read word for word. She hadn't realized till now that _that_ was the book he had been reading. She shut her eyes and tried to remember when she first saw him reading it. Realization hit her after a few silent moments. "Bastard," she mumbled, tossing the book back onto the desk, it landing with a thud.

She wondered if she should've picked up on this. That she should've seen the 'A' and looked more at the little details about Lucas and Peyton. And while she saw the story as nothing more than revenge and lust, she knew Lucas saw it as one of love.

* * *

She walked down the sterile hallway, her shoes squeaking on the linoleum tile beneath her feet. It was before visiting hours and she hoped that Lucas would be alone. She had told the nurse at the receptionist desk that she was Lucas' sister and that she had just flown in to see him. The nurse had smiled at her and quickly gave her the room number.

She opened the door slowly, her eyes focussed on the ground so that her head was hung. She knew that being there wasn't appropriate but she had to see him, had to make sure he was okay. She expected him to be asleep, so that her time there would go unknown by everyone, save her and the nightly receptionist. But when she walked into the room, she saw him sitting up, reading a classic novel, one that he had lent her in high school. She already knew that there were at least 5 highlighted sentences on the page he was reading, marking his favorite lines.

He looked completely enthralled by the words on the pages that she thought for a moment that he didn't know she was there. "Are you going to stand there all night?" She hung her head once more and made her way to his bedside. She didn't hold her head high or walk in with confidence, something she only did when she felt shame or felt inferior. He didn't look up from his book and made no other effort to greet her. She had come to him meaning she should make the first move.

They hadn't spoken since her birthday. He had called her, saying nothing more than 'Happy Birthday' before hanging up. The call her been a sign that he still cared. But the line between care and love were blurred in the eyes of the blonde.

After moments of silence, she spoke timidly. "How are you?"

His instinct was to tell her he was horrible. He was in the hospital and would ultimately be alone when he left. Still, he answered, "Better."

He watched as she kept her gaze on her lap, twiddling her fingers. He wanted to ask her how she found out he was in there and why she had come but somehow the words didn't make their way out of his mouth. "I'm sorry."

She wanted to badly to be apologizing for their affair. But she couldn't. Instead, she was sorry that he was alone and that she had never been good enough for him. Because he could never stray far from _her_.

"Me too." He was honestly sorry for breaking her heart. He had lead her on. But that implied that there wasn't any form of future for them and, to his worst fear, he couldn't honestly say that was true. "Are you staying?"

She lifted her head to look at him. "If you'll have me." He gave her a slight nod before returning to his book. She settled in her seat, the same chair Brooke had nestled in earlier that night. Slowly, Peyton pulled out her sketchbook, finding inspiration for her commission. They sat in silence, reading and drawing in what appeared to be complete peace.

* * *

She walked down the sterile hallway, trying to manage all the stuff that she had in her arms. There were tons of 'Get Well Soon' cards as well as balloons. She was almost to his room when the pile of cards escaped her grasp. "Great," she said with a frustrated sigh. She slowly began making her way down towards the ground when she felt someone's hand on her arm. "Let me get those for you."

She followed the hand up to the man's face and immediately thought she was 18 again. "Paul." He had gotten older, no doubtedly in his late 40s now. His head was shaved now, and he had stubble across his jaw line. There were more lines around his eyes and had put on a little weight but still looked like the nice wealthy man her parents had introduced her to.

He smiled down at her. "Brooke. It's great to see you again."

She found herself returning the smile. "Wow, small world huh," she said with a laugh. "What are you doing here?"

"Dropping off some flowers to my ex wife. Don't know why I should considering she blames me for her heart problems." He murmured the last part and once again a soft laugh escaped her lips. "What about you?"

"Delivering all this stuff to my husband." The words slide off her tongue like a second nature even though he hadn't been her husband for a long time. "Ex. Ex husband." She repeated herself in hopes of it sticking in her mind.

Paul raised his eyebrows. "Ex?"

She nodded sadly. "We're divorcing." As she said those two words, she rubber her belly, the baby suddenly active in her stomach.

"Oh. I'm so sorry," Paul replied genuinely, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. Then he picked up the cards that had fallen at her feet and handed them back to her. "Here you go."

She smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you. I should be going."

He nodded and motioned towards the elevators. "Me too."

She started to walk away then but stopped when she heard him. "Do you want to go out for lunch sometime?" She turned on her heel to look at him.

Taking a deep breath she nodded. "I'd like that."

* * *

"I was wondering when you'd be stopping by again," Lucas said warmly as Brooke walked into the room. She walked to his bedside, giving him a quick peck on the side of his head. She placed all the cards and balloons on the table next to his bed.

She stopped for a moment, having this feeling that something... _off_. "Did someone visit you already?"

The lie rolled off his tongue. "No. Just you." He watched her, wondering if she knew he was lying. He looked at her, really looked at her and knew that she knew. But still she said nothing, and let the lie go.

There was something different about her too and he couldn't quite figure out what it was. The only thing he knew was that there was the smell of somebody's cologne on her.

Still he said nothing.

Because people in big houses live nothing but lies in hopes of masking the heartache that is inevitable.


	15. Apologize

I am the biggest bitch ever. I am so incredibly sorry for not updating this sooner you guys! Inspiration has been lacking and I can never stay focussed when i do start writing an update. But in light of recent news, I figured updating everything might help me feel better, as well as everyone else. So I woke up and haven't done anything but finish this update. Thanks to Mer who read over this for me! I hope y'all enjoy! And once again, **I am SO SORRY! **

Brooke padded her way into her living room, yawning as she did so. The whole house was silent, her little cherubs still sleeping. Deciding to start on breakfast, she began walking to the kitchen but stopped when a blonde head caught her eye through the window in the dinning room. She pulled the curtain on the window back a little more so that she could see Sophia clearly.

Her only daughter stood on the wooden porch in her pajamas, a steaming cup of hot chocolate in her hands. Her sandy blonde hair was pulled into a loose, messy ponytail at the nape of her neck. She leaned against the wooden post of the steps, staring out at the foggy morning, the sky dark, cloudy, and gray. She took a sip from the cup in her hands every so often, her face looking puzzled and confused. As if the world she was staring at made no sense to her at all.

She let out a mixed sigh and wrapped her arms around her cold body. "Soph," Brooke said softly, interrupting the silence between her daughter and the world. Sophia turned, surprised, and gave her mother a small soft smile. Brooke stepped out on to the porch, pulling her cotton robe around her a little tighter. They stood together in silence, Brooke waiting for her daughter to open up and Sophia waiting for an answer to some unknown question.

"Hey Mom," Sophia started slowly and Brooke took her eyes off of the yard and placed them on her. "Do you think I can stay home today?"

Her instinct was to tell her no, but when she really looked into Sophia's blue eyes, she nodded.

* * *

Brooke stood in front of her closet, trying to figure out what to wear. She glanced down at her belly and sighed. She needed to go shopping soon. She pulled out various tops before laying them out on the bed. She rubbed her belly as she looked at them, trying to figure out which to wear, and which would fit. "Hey Mom," Sophia said cautiously from the doorway and Brooke looked up.

"Yeah hun?"

"Can I go with you to see Dad today," Sophia asked, feigning nonchalance, picking at a loose thread on one of her mother's tops. "This one," she added, picking up the green sleeveless embroidered shirt.

Brooke grabbed it from her warily. "You want to see your dad?" Sophia nodded. "Then of course you can come." Sophia smiled, one of the rare smiled that reminded Brooke of Lucas. "When we're done we'll go shopping before picking up the boys 'kay?"

Shopping: the Davis trait that only Sophia inherited.

"Thanks Mom," Sophia said, giving Brooke a side hug and a kiss on the cheeks before walking out of the room.

Brooke watched her daughter go and sighed. The phone on her bedside table rang and she threw down the green top and answered it. "Hello?"

"You sound out of breath," he replied with a soft chuckle and she smiled despite herself.

"You'd be out of breath too if you were carrying a baby." She walked over into her closet and began looking through her clothes once more. "So what's up?"

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to get some lunch today?" She bit her lip as she pulled out a black and white stripped jersey knit dress and stayed silent. Was she ready for this? Things between her and Lucas' were up in the air at this point and she of course had the kids to think about. "It's just lunch Brooke."

She exhaled and shook her head. He was right, it was just food between two people. "I'd love too. But do you think we could have dinner instead. I'm sort of having a bonding day with Sophia."

She could practically hear his smile on the other end. "Dinner would be wonderful. Pick you up at 6?"

When she hung up the phone minutes later, she turned and looked at the room she shared with her husband. This wasn't how it should've been.

* * *

She walked down the hall with Sophia by her side silently, neither of them talking which was unusually uncharacteristic of the Scott women. Her hands had already started sweating, something that only happened when she was nervous. It was a disgusting trait and she wiped her hands along the stripped dress she decided to wear. She stopped in front of Lucas' room and Sophia began to fidget nervously next to her. "He might be sleeping," Brooke mumbled as she looked at her cell phone, noticing it was still relatively early.

Sophia nodded but remained rooted to her spot. "Sophia you don't have to do this." She looks up at her mom with big blue eyes that to this day still amaze Brooke. She shook her head and let out a breath.

"Yes I do." Slowly but surely, Sophia stepped towards the door and opened it, internally bracing herself. She looked over at her father who sat up in his bed, watching some basketball game on ESPN. He looked tired and sad and she hated the way it was starting to make her feel. He turned to look at her, blue locking with blue, and he tried to smile softly. It wasn't that comforting, but it was the best he could do.

Brooke moved past Sophia, patting her back in a motherly fashion and walked straight over to her ex-husband. "Hey Luke," she said cheerily. Before it would fool anyone, but the two blondes in the room knew it was an act. Brooke hadn't been happy in a long time and Sophia knew first hand that behind the cheeriness were tears waiting to fall until she got alone. Brooke took Lucas' hand in hers, squeezing it lightly before looking back at Sophia.

"Hey Soph," he said softly, squeezing Brooke's hand a little tighter. Sophia looked over at her mom, still weary of being here even though she wanted to be. She looked back at her father and he was looking at her with such a look of desperation that it was getting harder and harder to keep her strong facade up. Brooke saw it first. She saw Sophia's bottom lip begin to tremble a little bit in the very corner. She saw Sophia clench her fists till her knuckles turned white. Brooke dropped Lucas' hand and walked over to her daughter and kissed the top of her head before wrapping her arms around her.

"You don't have to do this," she repeated herself as she rubbed Sophia's back. The young girl stayed silent and motionless before she cleared her throat.

"Can we have a minute?" She looked over at Lucas who held a surprised expression on his face. Brooke nodded before kissing Sophia one last time.

"I'm going to go roam the gift shop for a little bit." The door closed behind her and Sophia still stood by the door.

"I don't want to be okay with you again," she whispered and Lucas nodded.

"You don't have to Soph. I don't want _this_," he began, motioning to the room surrounding them, "to be the reason why you start talking to me again. When you feel like I've earned it, then do as you please." He had long since turned off the tv and it was completely silent in the room. The look in her eyes hurt him more than she could every possibly know. It was the same look that for _years_ he'd given Dan. The look of confusion and mixed feelings. The look of wanting it so damn bad but not wanting to give in.

Her lip twitched more and more and she squeezed her eyes shut so she couldn't see him. He looked so sad and it was killing her. "But I don't want to lose you. You're my dad." She sniffed and ran her fists over her eyes in order to try and keep the tears locked away. "I love you _so_ much Daddy but what you did with Aunt Peyton..."

She won't come closer to him and he _needed_ to hold her. He needed to cradle his little girl. He slowly but surely threw his legs over this side of the bed, pulling off the heart monitor he had been hooked up to. "I'm so sorry baby girl," he said as he watched the tears start to make their way down her flawless cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her tightly as she began to sob into his chest. It was a mixture of tears and sobs and hurtful words but he did what any dad would do.

He held her tight and whispered "I love you."

* * *

They sat silently in his hospital room, waiting for the doctor to come back in and inform him that all his tests were fine and that he was safe to go home. Although Lucas wasn't too sure where that was for him anymore. There was the hotel room that he had begun renting after he'd moved out of Peyton's but he'd never call either of those places home. His home was with Brooke and their kids, not that he was welcomed there anymore, at least that's what he still thought. Though he and Brooke had grown closer over the few days he'd spent in the hospital, he knew it wasn't enough. But they were sitting next to each other, her hand locked with his.

She flipped through a magazine she had bought in the gift shop, her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. Haley had stopped by about an hour previous and Sophia had left with her. After the long cry she had in Lucas' arms, she was pretty drained and it was agreed that she just needed to go home and sleep. The two adults had been making casual small talk every once in a while, her dimpled smile appearing whenever he said something particularly amusing.

"Lucas," she began when the show he had been watching went to commercial. "I'm assuming that when you get released you're going to need to stay with someone." She paused to take a breath and he squeezed her hand lightly, his hopes starting to get higher. "And we've been doing good these past couple days right?" He nodded eagerly and she put a careful smile on her face. "But I'm not ready to let you come back home." His face dropped. "I'm sorry Lucas."

He nodded. He knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. It was stupid to even think that she was ready to let him back in. He sighed heavily. "I understand Brooke." He knew he fucked up to the point of almost no return.

"I do want you to start coming over more often though. Especially since things with Sophia has gotten a little better." He nodded again and finally looked back over at her.

"And Wyatt?"

She shrugged helplessly. "He hasn't talked to me." She ran her hand through her brown locks and sighed. "I don't know what's going on in his head."

"I'm sorry," he said after some time of silence. It was an apology for everything that he knew he couldn't fix.

Her face was blank and she moved her gaze to the floor. "It'll get better," she said. She hoped.

The doctor walked in, a bright perfect smile on his face. "How are we doing today?" Within seconds, Brooke's fake smile graced her face.

"Hopefully great with your news," she answered politely and the doctor still remained in his cool manner.

"Well, you are going to be able to go home Lucas. Everything turned out fine on your tests but we want to keep you just for this night to make sure everything stays a-okay." Lucas nodded and smiled himself.

"Thank you doctor." Another night he'd be spending alone in that plain white hospital room with his demons.

* * *

She walked down the busy street, looking up at all the sparkling city lights, her hand placed securely in his. They had just gotten out of a movie and now he was leading her to the restaurant he had promised she'd love. She let out a deep sigh, a cloud of air escaping her mouth in the cold weather. She shivered in to her black wool peacoat, tucking her chin down against her chest in an effort to shield her face from the icy wind. "What's wrong?"

She lifted her head and gave him a quizzical expression before taking her glove clad hand out of her pocket to push her loose curls out of her face. "Nothing's wrong. Baby's just kicking hard." She placed a small smile on her face, already knowing it'd be enough to get him to drop anything he might have been thinking. Because really, he didn't know of any reason for her to be upset. He knew nothing about Lucas and Peyton and the mess they had brought her in to.

So when he sent her a smile in return and squeezed her hand, she inwardly sighed. Her mind drifted to her husband who laid in a dreary hospital room. She wondered if Lucas would've let it go so easily. He was the one who knew her inside and out, the one who could always tell when she was upset. But Lucas was her problem now and that was when he never wanted to admit she was hurting. For a split second, the girl in her belly who had been motionless for most of the night kicked her _hard_ in the stomach.

* * *

They stood on the doorstep of the home she bought with her husband, nothing but smiles on her face. "This was fun," she said honestly as she got her keys out of her purse. Even though she'd started remembering everything she wanted to forget once they left the movie, the night had been wonderful. Paul had taken her to a small little Italian restaurant he'd partnered in and made sure the chef made everything to her specific liking. Afterwards he took her out to get ice cream in the old ice cream parlor on the other side of town even though it was a half an hour out of their way.

"Hopefully we could do it again sometime?" He raised his brow in a hopeful manner with a sly smile on his face. She laughed softly and nodded before rubbing her belly to try and get her daughter to stop being so active. Ever since they started eating, she hadn't stopped moving.

It grew awkward them, the two of them standing in front of the house where her three children with another man lay sleeping. Paul took a cautious step forward and took Brooke's face in his hand. Her feet were planted in their spot and stood there sort of dazed. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this but nothing she could do could make her move. Her breath hitched in her throat as they locked eyes just before he did it. He pressed his lips against hers lightly, softly, carefully, before pulling away from her completely. "Goodnight Brooke."

She blinked a couple of times before nodding. "Night Paul." She opened her door and stepped inside, still a little shocked. She locked the door behind her and then stood still, the baby girl in her belly kicking even harder.

_Everything_ was different now.


	16. Legendary

Yes I know it's been a while, but at least not half a y ear this time :) But life has been beyond hectic, what with me going across the country and then getting majorly grounded and just dealing with everything. Anyway, I hope y'all like this chapter as there aren't too many left. Only four more and I'll just say that _tons_ can change in four chapters ;) Thanks to Mer for reading this over for me. Enjoy!

* * *

--

She stands in the doorway of her room, looking at everything that's accumulated over the years. The furniture they picked out, the gifts they'd given one another, the pictures they've taken. The smell, hers and his that has blended together to be one that fills their whole house. She sighs and rubs her stomach. Thirteen years. Thirteen years spent together.

Thirteen years that are slowly going down the drain.

She enters the room, locking the door behind her even though none of her children are home and moves to the closet they shared. She goes to his side, opening the door before putting her hair in a messy bun. She lets out a breath and pulls at the wifebeater, his wifebeater, she wears. She bites her bottom lip before taking it off and throwing it on the carpet behind her. She reaches into the half empty closet and pulls out an old Ravens T-shirt, throwing it next to the shirt she just took off. Next, a pair of jeans, then another shirt, continuing until the closet's empty.

She moves over to her own closet and does something similar. She goes through, taking out the clothes that were either gifts from her husband or were formally his and tosses them into the pile on the floor. When she's done, she turns, staring at the progress she's made. She gives herself a curt nod, half smiling. "On to the office."

Once in the room that was devoted to her husband, she goes to the bookshelves, staring at everything intently before moving to tip the numerous soft and hard bound books to the hard wooden floor. She moves to the desk once the shelves are bare, taking all the papers out of the drawers and putting them into a neat stack. She gets up to the pile of books and drops the stack on top of them, a satisfied smile on her face. She starts to leave to get empty trash bags when the phone rings. She moves back into the dark blue room and picks up the old cord phone. "Hello?"

"Hey." His voice is light and soft.

She wraps the cord around her wrist and she shifts her weight. "Hey."

"So, I was wondering if it'd be okay if I came to dinner tonight?"

She looks at the mess she's made before nodding. "That'd be great. I'm making tacos."

"Usual time?"

"Of course." The conversation ends soon after and she slumps. Sighs heavily before putting everything back in its place, both in the office and their bedroom.

Everything like it has been for the past thirteen years.

--

"Momma, when's the baby gonna get here?"

Brooke smiles and looks at Finley in the rear view mirror, her eyebrows raised in amusement. "Few more months kiddo. Why do you ask?"

Finley shrugs, moving his red race car on the empty seat next to him. "You can't carry me or play like we used to."

"I'm sorry honey. But at least Uncle Nathan can still horse around with you. You and Ethan can tackle him to the ground," she responds, looking back at her son who wont look at her. It silents the curious boy for a few minutes, going about playing with his toy car until the stop in the driveway of Nathan and Haley's.

"Momma?" Brooke meets his eyes in the mirror and he continues. "When can I play with Daddy?"

She moves her eyes, looks down before opening the door. "Come on. Aunt Haley made snacks," she says lightly, changing the conversation to one she'd rather be having with her youngest. Finley happily gets out of the car, his mind temporarily adverted from his father. The two walk into the other Scott home without knocking, Finley running directly up stairs once Brooke opened the door. "Hales we're here!"

Haley walks out from the kitchen smiling and wiping her hands on a dish towel. "Hey. Where's the boy?" As if on cue, Finley and Ethan come running down the stairs, nearly running into their mothers. "Ethan and Finley, if you're going to run do it outside," Haley yells, the sound of a door slamming following a few seconds later. She let out a tired sigh before motioning Brooke to follow her. "I'm just finishing up some sandwiches. Want one?"

Brooke shakes her head, her dark brown locks swishing from side to side. "Do you remember Paul," Brooke asks quietly as Haley began cutting the numerous sandwiches she made in half.

"Paul?" Brooke nods. "The one dude your parents introduced you to?"

"Yeah." Haley looks at her blankly, offering a confused shrug for her to continue. "I've kinda been... seeing him." Brooke's gaze stays on the counter, playing with the corner of a paper towel.

Haley stops, her knife mid-cut and looks up at Brooke's downcast face. "What?" Her voice sounds weird. Shocked and sacred and weirded out all at the same time. She doesn't know how to respond and frankly, she almost wishes she hadn't been told. "For how long?" Her words come out fast and stuttered as she tries to act normal and finish cutting the sandwich.

"A few weeks," she mutters through her bit lip. She carefully looks up, looks up at her sister-in-law and wonders what she must think of her. Brooke has always been popular with boys, ironically not with the one that mattered, but it's different now. She's still technically married, is pregnant with three other children, no way to support herself financially, and just an all around mess. Even _she_ wasn't sure she should be dating.

Haley's head bobs up and down in acknowledgment, still not looking up at the woman in front of her. "Haley, _please_ say something." She needs to hear someone else's opinion to it. She needs to be told whether she's making a fool of herself, acting too much like her high school self, or if this is actually good for her. She knows she should figure it out for herself, but as of late, she doesn't think she can trust her own judgment. Not now, not after everything.

"Honestly Brooke, I don't _know_ what to say. I suppose it's good that you're moving on..." Haley would be lying if she said that it didn't upset her to some extent. In her mind, it's always been Brooke and Lucas. But under the circumstances, Haley isn't sure she can condemn Brooke for trying to move on. "Does he make you happy?"

Brooke nods, a small smile creeping on to her face. "He's really sweet, to both me and the kids. And he listens to me."

Haley places a smile on her face and decides that this is just what Brooke needs. "Do the kids know you're dating him?"

Brooke shakes her head quickly. "NO! No... I think it'd be way too soon to tell them that. Right now, he's just my friend to them. And I think I'm going to keep it that way."

Haley has so much more to ask, like what will happen when Brooke gives birth in a little over a month, and when exactly she'll break the news to everyone else, because she knows just as well as Brooke that keeping it hidden isn't good and wont end well. But she keeps her mouth shut and smiles. "Then I'm happy for you."

It's silent between the two until Nathan walks in, Finley hanging from one arm as Ethan hangs from the other. "Hey Brooke," he says as he kisses her on the cheek, before going over to Haley and kissing her lips. "Alright, down boys. It's time to eat." He lowers them down slowly and all three boys grab sandwiches. The two younger ones run into the play room, sandwiches in one hand, drinks in the other. Nathan stays, arm around his wife's waist securely. "So, Lucas is coming over tonight?"

"Yep. For dinner." The other Scotts nod slowly, their faces apprehensive. Haley doesn't reply, just goes about cleaning up the crumbs that have accumulated on the counter tops. Nathan's face remains hard, still not trusting his brother enough to be around the brunette.

"Just be careful Brooke."

--

When Brooke pulls up to her marital home, Lucas' car is parked in the front. "Finley, your dad's already here." She glances back at her son, a bright toothless smile beaming back at her. She looks next to him, her other son now seated next to him. He's looking out the window, not at their house, seemingly refusing to look at the house. She sighs and unlocks the doors, Finley running towards the house as soon as he hears the click. She glances up at their porch and there he his, waiting with opened arms for his son. He looks up and smiles at her. A small safe smile that's paired with scared eyes before he turns and walks with his son inside.

"Talk to me Wyatt," she whispers, staring at her son in the rear view mirror.

"I know he almost died," he starts, just as quiet as his mother had been. "But he's still not dad." She looks down, just for a second and plays with the keys that rest in her hands. "Soph says I should at least talk to him, because he might be gone before we know it."

"She's right Wy... He did bad things but he's still your dad. "

"Momma, he already _is_ gone." She locks eyes with her oldest son and can't say a thing. He's right. And it kills her.

"Will you please just be _nice_ to him? Even if you don't want to be... for my sake. Please," she pleads after a few minutes of silence, and just like the good son he his, he answers her with a firm nod. When they finally get out of the car, Wyatt is at Brooke's side, their hands linked together.

All she can do is pray it'll all be okay.

--

They walk in together, Brooke with a small smile in front of Wyatt. When he hears the door open, Lucas looks up from the sports section of the newspaper, a genuine smile on his face. His smile gets a little wider when he notices Wyatt standing awkwardly by the door. "Hey you guys," he said softly before sharing an almost awkward hug with Brooke. "Wyatt, it's great to see you."

His parents look at him differently. Brooke, like she's pleading with him once more to just be nice, to just let Lucas have his day. Wyatt hasn't noticed till now how horribly tired his mom looks. And sad; the dejection visible behind two dimples and green eyes. Lucas, almost completely hopeful, but too sane to let himself get carried away by the fact that they were all here. He looks tired too but it worries Wyatt when he can't find regret in his father's eyes.

He nods, only slightly, and it's enough for both adults to sigh simultaneously. "I'm gonna go do my homework." It's an excuse just to leave the room but it's okay because all his parents do is smile.

--

It's almost like she's tiptoeing around him. Like she has something to hide, that she's guilty in some way and she's not sure why she feels this way. She answers the ringing phone and it's him and suddenly her palms begin to sweat. "Hey," she replies cooly, glancing up at Lucas who stands at the island chopping up oranges. He's asking her about another date, tomorrow for lunch that way she won't have to make Sophia watch the younger kids. She tells him that Sophia is let out early tomorrow but to hold on for just a moment before she covers the bottom of the phone.

"Um, Lucas? Do you think you could pick Sophia up from school tomorrow?" He nods, with a smile on his face, gentle confusion in his eyes. She returns her attention back to the other man in her life and tells her that meeting up for lunch tomorrow would be great. He lovingly replies with "Great. I'll see you tomorrow then pretty girl," and hangs up.

She clutches the phone and her knuckles turn white. She closes her eyes and tries not to let her emotions shine through. "You okay?"

She places a hand on her stomach, a fake smile on her face. "Baby's just moving funny." It's a good excuse that seems like reason to her estranged husband and she lets out a small breath when Lucas returns to the fruit. Hiding things from her husband was easy.

The guilt was harder to cope with.

"Who was that," he asks after a little while, Brooke now standing by the stove, the pan sizzling with oil in front of her. His words are cautious, like he's not sure he should ask or that he had the right to. No, he _knew_ he didn't have the right to ask. But damn it if his curiosity wasn't getting the best of him.

She stays quiet and he looks up to stare at her back. She's formulating a lie, or maybe sorting out what to say with out saying too much. "Oh, it was just Paul," she answers after a minute or so, her words sounding like they were meant to come out all along. But they're precise, careful and ambiguous. They're said like he should know who Paul is but honestly, he hasn't a clue.

"Who's Paul," he asks, clearing his throat and looking down once Brooke turns to face him.

She pushes her thick hair back before twirling the brown locks and holding it off of her neck. It was getting much too hot in the kitchen for her. "You don't remember Paul?" She answers just like before, like it should be obvious. "My parents introduced us back when I was pregnant with Sophia." She returns back to the tacos only stopping when she hears the knife tossed on to the cutting board.

"_That_ Paul? You're going out to lunch with _him_?" He hates the way he sounds. Like an over jealous husband, or one that thinks he still has the right to be involved in the decisions his ex wife makes.

Brooke's eyes narrow as she blindly turns off the stove. "Yes I am going to go eat food with him Lucas." She sounds disgusted and she is. "You sound like I just told you I was fucking him," she finishes harshly and he has to literally bite his tongue from asking if she was.

He doesn't want to know more than he does.

So he hangs his head, mutters heartfelt apologies and she leaves the room to go get their children.

He hadn't wanted it to go like this.

--

By the end of the night, it's almost like it was before. Talking around the dinner table as each one devoured what Brooke cooked. Wyatt stays quiet for the most part, but then again that's normal too, except now he only addresses Lucas when necessary. Finley, for the first time in a long while, looks completely happy and Sophia's looking better than she's been.

Her husband does that to her kids.

_Ex _husband.

But they're all smiling, even Wyatt, even herself, and it makes her happy. Being like _this_ makes her happy.

Once the table is cleared, and the night gets even later, the boys go to bed and Sophia resorts to lounging in her room, finishing homework she neglected to do earlier. The two adults rest in the living room, some pointless show playing on their television. "This was nice," Brooke says, testing the waters with her words.

He nods in agreement before looking at the clock and then over at his yawning wife. "I should be going. It's getting late."

She gets up when he does, follows him to the door and tells him they should do this more often. She wants to feel this happy again. She wants to smile and laugh during dinner again.

And as much as it scares her, she thinks she wants him again.

So when he stares at her wearily for a moment before leaning down and leaving a peck on her lips, she doesn't flinch. Doesn't move away.

Just returns the action.


	17. Broken

Look an update! Amazing isn't it? So, i've worked out a schedule with myself so that I wrote for ALL my stories at least once a week for all of my math period (... I'll do this until my math grade suffers lol) so you girls have gotten yourselves an update(if anyone still reads this)! I know, I've been sucking majorly on the updating but I'm trying now, especially since this story's coming to an end. In fact, this chapter's sort of the beginning of the end : /. Alrighty, enough blabber. Enjoy!

He stays with his parents, unable to will himself to rent a small apartment until this whole mess is over. It's nice, being so close to his mom again but it is also driving him crazy. She pries into his business just a little bit more, gets involved more than she usually would. So when it comes time to meet with anyone, he choses to go to the restaurant on the river. He sits nervously at the table over looking the water. He has a notebook in front of him, along with the sports section from the day's paper, and the two items have been keeping him busy for the past twenty minutes.

He sighs and shifts in his chair, growing restless while alone. Just as he's about to leave she shows up. She mutters apologizes as she slides into the chair across from him, dropping her heavy bag down next to her before fiddling with her menu. He's still annoyed with her being late but then she lets out a breath and smiles at him, asking him to tell her about his week.

He grumbles about work and she nods, adding in her agreements when it's appropriate. They go on to talk about recent movies that have come out, music that they've discovered, and events they've gone to recently. She mentions how she had a few drawings up at Second Saturday and that she's leaving for New York soon for work. He asks how long she'll be gone after congratulating her on her showings and she smiles.

"About a week, maybe more," she responds, picking a fry off of his plate and tossing it into her mouth. He asks why her job as an assistant is sending her all the way to New York alone and she give him a small cautious smile. "I'm working on a record. Small band with big potential. Someone recommended me when they heard the benefit CD."

His eyes go wide and he mutters 'wow' as she nods her head slowly. "Who knew after all this time, it'd still end up helping your dream come true." She nods once more, looking down and fiddling with her napkin.

"Yep." She tries to sound more happy than she is but it's hard. Truth is she's thrilled that it's all finally starting to happen but at the same time she knows what it means. She has to leave everything, which really just consists of him, behind. Needs to be able to function alone and without the past that follows her _everywhere_ in this god forsaken town.

They finish their lunch quietly and pretty soon he grumbles about going back to work. She stands when he leaves and hugs him tightly. "When do you leave," he questions once they've pulled apart, tossing down two twenties for the bill as she grabs her bag.

"Two days," she says softly and he nods before walking away.

* * *

She sits, leaning back into the chair, rubbing her fingers over her full stomach. "That was _delicious_," she tells the smiling man across from her. Paul tells her he's glad she enjoyed the meal and ask if she wants desert. She shakes her head, positive that despite the fact that she's eating for two she couldn't eat another bite. He leaves money on the table for the bill and then walks over to help Brooke up, her hands out in expectancy. He helps her up and she she lets out a nice content sigh once she's on her feet.

They walk down the city street and he's constantly checking to make sure she's okay. She's getting closer and closer to her due date and he doesn't like her being on her feet. She keeps telling him she's fine and then he asks about Lucas. Her smile shrinks and she clears her throat nervously. She tells him that he's been spending a lot more time with the kids and that he'll be coming over every week for dinner.

Paul nods and debates telling the brunette of his doubts in this. He knows that it's good for their children but he worries for the glowing woman next to him. He doesn't know everything that's happened, but he knows enough to be cautious of his girlfriend's husband. He bites his tongue though and instead tells her that he's glad Lucas is spending time with his kids.

She changes the subject quickly and they begin talking about what movie to see when she realizes she has to pick up Finley from school. Paul helps her into his car and tells them they'll pick him up and that it'll be great. They'll go out for ice cream and bring some home for Wyatt and Sophia.

She places a fake smile on her face and tells him that'd be great.

The feeling in the pit of her stomach is slowly creeping back.

* * *

A while later, after she's gotten home and said goodbye to Paul, she sits at the island in the kitchen, picking at Finley's left over ice cream. She hears the front door open and her posture straightens, thinking that her daughter has finally returned home with her father. "Soph, I'm in the kitchen," she calls out and what walks into her kitchen is far from her oldest daughter.

"Sorry to disappoint you," he says lightly. She smiles and motions for him to sit with her. He's sweaty and it's obvious that he probably just finished playing ball. Suddenly, Michael's head pops into the lit room, smiling widely when he sees the ice cream between the brunettes.

"Auntie Brooke!" He runs over and hugs her side and without even asking, brooke pushes the ice cream to him. He grabs it greedily before telling her thank you.

"Your cousins are in their room. Why don't you go hang out so me and your dad can talk?" He runs out of the room and Brooke sighs before looking back at Nathan. "How are you?"

"How are **you**," he asks her with concerned eyes and she shrugs, the fake smile she's used her whole life gracing her face. "Come on, don't lie to me Davis." She shakes her head at her maiden name, getting up to get a water for the panting man in front of her.

"I'm fine Nathan," she responds, tossing him the cold bottled water. "I'm just adjusting to... everything." He raises a brow, guzzling down half of his water before asking her just what exactly she's adjusting to. "Lucas being gone and here and having Paul in my life and trying to make sure my kids aren't becoming basket cases in this whole mess."

"Lucas has been coming over regularly," he asks and she bites her lip and nods. She keeps her hazel gaze down and he asks the other question that has been brought to his attention. "Just for the kids?" She won't look up and she begins fiddling with the orange she's picked up. He lets out a loud aggravated sigh in disappointment.

"Don't do that," she tells him, sounding more like she's talking to one of her children rather than her brother in law. "I know, okay? I know that I shouldn't because of what's happened but I can't just forget the last fourteen years I've been with him." His face remains hard and his blue eyes hold the worry that fuels his anger. "I mean, you took Haley back..."

"That's not the same and you know it! Haley didn't sleep with Chris. Haley didn't have a relationship with Chris. We hadn't been married for over a decade or have any children and we were in HIGH SCHOOL!"

"But it hurt you to the point of getting an annulment or divorce or whatever! It _all_ hurts Nathan... but you didn't give up. And I'm not sure I'm ready to either." This time he lets out a sigh of defeat and shakes his head.

"So where does this leave Paul," he asks and brooke shrugs.

"He's a great guy and he really wants to be there for me and help with everything but... I feel like I'm starting to depend on him too much."

"Is that a bad thing or are you just trying to find an excuse to let him go," he asks and she looks down once again.

He sighs and shakes his head. "What're we gonna do with you?" She looks up and shrugs helplessly and he pats her shoulder reassuringly.

* * *

Paul calls her later to check in on her, an action that makes her smile and frown all at the same time. He asks if she's okay, something he's been doing very often since there's only a month left till her due date. She tells him like always that she's fine and then he asks about the kids. She tells him about how Sophia still wasn't home but that Wyatt appreciated the ice cream and that he and Finley were upstairs playing.

She mentions that she needs to go shopping off-handedly when she notices there's no milk in the fridge and he promptly asks if she needs it for dinner. She laughs graciously and asks him why. "Because I wouldn't mind picking some up for you before I stop by Katherine's." She smiles at the gesture and gladly accepts. And then it hits her. This is getting to be a little too much. She likes Paul, she truly does but she suddenly feels too... dependent.

"Actually Paul, there's something we need to talk about..."

* * *

It's scary really, what's going on between them. They sit in the living room, their children sprawled out on the floor underneath the old quilted comforter while some Disney classic plays on the TV. She's lying on the couch with her feet in his lap, looking at her children more so than the movie. He rubs her feet gently, looking at her and her continuously growing stomach rather than the TV.

It worries him. They haven't talked about anything important, not about his relationship with Peyton or where they stand. But they're going through the days blindly and it feels like they're only repeating the mistakes they've already made.

The movie ends a while later and Lucas picks up Finley who's already fallen asleep. Sophia nudges Wyatt who's been floating in and out of consciousness before telling him to go to bed. Brooke kisses their heads and pushes them towards the stairs and turns around to gather up the blankets and bowls left by her family. Lucas returns soon and follows her into the dimly lit kitchen. She stands by the sink, dropping the dirty dishes in and he watches from his seat at the island.

She turns around and smiles at him, a small, confused smile and he almost looks away. But then she walks towards him, eyes unsure, bottom lip between her teeth. They stare at each other for a minute and then it happens. She lifts her hands to his cheeks and places her lips softly on his. he doesn't respond at first, too shocked to comprehend what was happening. When she doesn't stop kissing him, his hands trail up her rounded belly and then to her back, his lips matching hers.

It worries her. When she kisses him she feels _everything_; why she fell in love with him, why she's never let him go, why she wants him _so_ bad. When they kiss she can't dream of stopping and she's just so damn happy it hurts.

She knows that's what Peyton feels when she kisses her husband too.

* * *

Peyton sits in her packed up apartment on the floor, eating cold left over pizza. SHe doesn't get it. No matter how any time she thinks and looks back on it, she doesn't get why she's made this mess or why Lucas let her. She's thrown away the family she had for a few months of broken pleasure; betrayed her sister and herself. God, she can't even remember the last time she talked to Brooke... It's probably better that she doesn't though. The words had to have been filled with jealousy and hate.

She's not the person she once was. She's not even a shell of that person. And that's why she needs to leave...

For good.


	18. If It Makes You Happy

Hello everyone. Super fast update huh? I have to say, it was not brought upon out of my undying love for this story. I feel like I need to explain the actions of my characters in this story and I find that really unfortunate. First off, I had no intention of making this a chapter fic. I had written it as a one shot and was happy with it. But because you, my readers, wanted more I gave it to you, for you. I have often felt lost with this story but I have figured out what I believe is right and wrong for this story.

I am using personal experiences, that have both happened in my family and to myself to help me complete this story and I fully believe that this is how she would react. You all have to understand that Brooke is broken, _all_ of the characters are broken. They are in such a mess that they're confused. Brooke is torn between what she knows can be good for her but what can also kill her. She knows that Lucas shouldn't be forgiven but there is SO much history between them: years of love and children. I honestly don't think that after she's spent a few months without him that she wouldn't be missing him, that she wouldn't want to give up on who she believes is her true love.

And Lucas loves Brooke he truly does, but Peyton is the person who is like his twin. She can make him feel so secure it's crazy, something I've been trying to show in the past few chapters). I'm trying to express to all of you that Lucas is TORN. He loves them both and he doesn't know what to do about; doesn't know if he can survive without the other.

I have written just about ever type of BL there could be and in some it is not easy to want BL. In some, I don't even want you to. This is a story where you SHOULD be torn, just as much as Lucas is between his girls. And honestly, you SHOULD hate Lucas but you need to understand where he is coming from.

This story still has two chapters left in which everything will be explained. If you think that it seems a little Lucas lax at the end of this chapter just wait for the next chapter, it'll be expanded there. Also, if you disagree with the BL scene in this chapter: I don't care. I believe t his is how they would react and if you think they wouldn't, sorry. It's my story and that's how it's going to play out.

If you do not enjoy this story and you hate it and it annoys you then please, by all means stop reading. If you're not enjoying it then I do not want you to waste your time that could be better spent.

So, before I end this I'd like to thank Corey and Lizzy for looking this chapter over for me and assuring me it was good. Now, for everyone, i hope you enjoy!

They sit in his mother's empty house, gorging on the left over pumpkin pie Karen made the day before. Sophia sits in her gym clothes, legs crossed lazily on the bar stool, fork delving into the dollop of whip cream on her father's pie. Lucas pretends to fight her for it, using his own fork to fend her off, eventually giving in as he always does.

"How are you Soph," he asks her after she swallows her last bite of pie. He picked her up from school again, something both Brooke and Sophia have been allowing him to do more frequently.

She weighs her head back and forth before shrugging slightly. "Confused," she answers and he asks her why. "I saw you and mom the other night." His eyes go wide and he begins to fidget in his seat.

"Um, Sophia , that..." His words are jumbled and he doesn't know what to say or how to respond.

"Dad it's okay," she silences him, taking a bite of his pie before continuing. "I know that it's... complicated. You screwed up _royally_ but you're my dad and her husband. It's not like what you've done can be ignored but I think it'd be really great if you two could work it out... and we could be a family again."

He smiles to his daughter and hugs her tight. "I love you Sophia." She whispers back that she loves him too and begins to say something else when she stops. She tenses in his arms and he pulls away to see her face confused and hurt. "What's wrong?"

He follows her gaze and he sees Peyton in the doorway of the kitchen. Her blonde curls are perfect, her outfit plain and her face horrified. He glances at the clock above the sink and mutters obscenities in his head. 4:30. He was supposed to drop Sophia off at 4 so he could come back and say goodbye to Peyton. But now, here he is, caught by his daughter this time instead of his son, in a house he's never lived in till now.

"How could you?" He looks back at his daughter, the venom dripping from her words and lips. Her blue eyes are filled with revulsion and it's weighing his whole being down. He opens his mouth, tries to mutter something that can fix _all_ of this but he can't.

So she picks up her backpack, slings it over her shoulder and brushes past both him and his ex lover before slamming her grandmother's front door.

And suddenly it's like they're back five months.

* * *

After they both come to terms with what's happened, he asks her to leave. "Of course," Peyton tells him, frown on her face and regret in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Lucas." He shrugs her off and god, it hurts her so much. She wants to go over and kiss him and make everything better but she know she can't. She's not the solution.

When Lucas hears the door shut once more, much quieter than when his daughter had left, he moves like a ghost around his mother's large kitchen. He throws out the left over pie, washes the dirty dishes, and cleans all the counters. His mother comes in and smiles at him, thanks him for doing the dishes. And just like that, he breaks down.

Karen rushes over, worried look of a mother on her face, and wraps her arms around Lucas' shaking body. "What's wrong?" _All_ of it is wrong. He's cheated on his wife, ruined relationships with his kids, and just as it appeared to be getting better, he fucked it up. He fucked it up because he can _not_ stay away from the woman who _always_ understands him.

God, he regrets so much, and so little, and it just _hurts._

"I need to go talk to Brooke. I need to go talk to my wife," he mutters through his tears, and leaves his mother confused and soaked with his tears behind him.

* * *

Brooke sits in Karen's cafe, Paul in front of her, both with solemn looks on their faces. "I'm sorry Paul. I really do like you and enjoy your company but..."

He shakes his head and smiles sadly. "I understand Brooke. You're still young too, you need to see what life has to offer you." She smiles at him as they get up and kisses his cheek.

"Thank you... We can still be friends right?" He nods his head sternly and tells her of course. They walk out of the small cafe she's frequented since high school and go their separate ways. Just before she gets into her car, he calls back to be careful. She smiles and waves, hiding the confusion of his words behind dimples.

Brooke climbs into her car, deciding that she should probably stop driving soon with the size of her belly and just sits. _"You need to see what life has to offer you." _What the hell had he meant by that? Her life was her marriage, as broken as it was, and her children. Her family. She didn't need anything else, she had everything that she could ever possibly want.

Her cell phone rings loudly from her purse and she fumbles to get it out. The baby's kicking and moving every which way and when she finally answers her phone, she applies pressure to her stomach. "Hello," she says, her baby finally stilling it's madness. It's Sophia and she's sobbing. It all falls out of her mouth in crying jumbles and mother mode kicks in. "Are you by Aunt Haley's?"

"I'm a block away," Sophia says, huffing and puffing from her tears and no doubt upset walk she's taken. "Stay there until I come to get you. Help her with your brothers." Sophia simply says okay and that she loves her before hanging up.

None of this was supposed to happen. It's just taking too much out of her and it just _hurts_. It's all slowly eating away at her soul and she just doesn't know what to do. She's angry and depressed and the only thing she can think to do is to go home and wait for her _loving_ husband to come.

* * *

"Brooke?" She sits, staring into space on the couch, rubbing her extended belly.

"I don't get it," she mutters, blinking a few times before she just shuts her eyes completely. "I don't get why you can't need me like you need her."

His posture straightens, the meaning of her words hitting him with realization. She knows, Sophia's told her, and suddenly it feels even more like they're back to where they were five months ago. God, is that really how long it's been? Just five months? "I _do_ need you Brooke."

She shakes her head and opens her eyes. "No you don't. You _want_ me. You want to continue to have the life we've lived but you can't have it because you need her so damn much," she bites back, staring at her husband in disgust.

"That's not fucking true Brooke! I do not need Peyton," he yells as he walks closer to her.

She shakes her head once more and stands up slowly. "Then why the _hell_ do you keep fucking seeing her?" She's screaming at him, something she hasn't done for years, even despite what they've been going through. Never yelled at him to this extent, never looked at him with such repulsion in her eyes, never been shaking with so much anger. "You told me you were done."

"I'm not sleeping with her! We just _talk_, nothing more, I swear." His voice is raised but he's pleading with her to hear him out.

"And look what 'just talking' turned into last time," she tells him as she brushes past him, making her way up the stairs.

"It's different this time Brooke," he yells after her and she stops halfway up.

"_Different_? How the fuck is it different? And you know what? This is all besides the fucking point. If you didn't need her then you wouldn't still have to see her!" Her raspy voice cracks and he stares back at her. She's right, deep down he knows it. He can't stay away from Peyton, has to contact her in some way because there are things that she just gets. She can understand him when Brooke can't and he needs that in his life. "Get out of my house."

He follows her up the stairs, watching as she retreats to their bedroom. "I'll give her up. For good this time."

She turns around, and stares at him with slanted eyes. "You've told me this before and it doesn't _fucking_ work!" She walks up to him and pushes him back. "You don't know how to not have her Lucas and that's your problem! That's why we don't work! Now GET OUT!"

She shoves him again and his anger is bubbling up. She makes it seem like he cheated on her every single year of their marriage and it's selling him short. He loved her and only her for nearly 13 years and if he could do it once he could do it again.

"No, I am not leaving," he yells, "I get that I fucked up Brooke, I know it and I admit to it. But I am done! It was a mistake I made during a lapse of judgment and I'm sorry!" Her mouth drops slightly, her eyes shaping into a death glare.

"Sorry doesn't cut it Lucas. Not when you can't even let go of what started this mess," she yells at him, pushing him once more. Only this time he grabs her wrists and refuses to let her go. It only angers her more and she kicks his leg. "Let go of me." It comes out of her mouth like a growl and he doesn't know why he does it. He knows he shouldn't and that he'll probably get a black eye for it, but he can't stop himself. He's tired of them fighting, tired of hearing their excuses and complaints over something they can't change.

So he pushes his lips harshly against hers, tightening his grip on her wrists as her belly separates them. The belly that is a constant reminder of his infidelity. She rips her face away, turns it so that he hits her cheek and he notices the tears on her face, tasting the salt on his lips. "I hate you," she whispers, looking at him once he's pulled back slightly.

"Liar," he says, his voice loud in the otherwise silent room. He's let go of her wrists but they still stand close. She raises her hand, flat and ready to strike but before she can hit him, he grabs her hand once more. This time it's her that captures his lips roughly, her fingers going to the pearly white buttons on his shirt.

It's fast and rushed and angry. She nearly rips his shirt as she takes it off, her nails leaving long red trails on his shoulders and arms. He pushes the wife he alienated up against the wall, her nails clawing into him ever harder. His hands tug on the baggy sweatpants she wears in the cold and when she bites down on his lip, he forces them down her legs, goose bumps forming on the pale skin. His hands are rough as they move up her soft legs, his touch burning her. Next to go are her panties and then she's left pressed up against the white wall in a tank top that forms to the shape of her pregnant body.

They pull apart and she keeps her eyes closed because she can _not_ look at him. Can't look into his blue eyes and see the love for them both that resides in them, or worse, see emptiness. He places his hands on her shoulders and shakes her lightly. "Look at me."

She opens them slowly, her earlier anger looming in her green orbs. "So I can look at what has happened to us?" This time he turns away, moves his touch away from her before running a hand through his blonde hair. His hands are shaking and his whole being just aches. "I can't even look at you."

He opens his mouth, ready to say something, ready to defend himself once more which will only keep them on this merry-go-round, before he stops. "I don't want to fight anymore," he says finally and turns back to look at her crumbled form. She nods her head in agreement before walking up to him. She takes off her tank top and then moves to his pants. Sex is the easiest thing between them and she just wants it to be easy again.

He takes off his jeans and he puts his hands on her naked hips, bringing her closer to him. He kisses her pale stretched stomach before standing up and kissing her lips. Tears are making her way down her cheeks even faster as she tries to kiss him back. He uses his thumb to wipe away the broken dreams sliding down her flawless skin. "I can't look at you," she repeats and he nods his head.

She moves away from him and makes her way over to the bed and he knows what they're about to do. She rests on her hands and knees and he comes up behind her, running his calloused hands up and down her back. When he enters her, she lets out a choking sob, the tears dropping down on to the dark red sheet beneath her. He's careful and quiet, the only noise coming from the silent tears falling from her eyes.

Sex is what started them, it was the first seedlings of the prospect of them being a them. Ironic thing is, sex is what's ruined them.

When they're done, they lie side by side in the large bed they used to share. She's fallen asleep, the slowly drying trails of tears glistening in the light coming through the window. Now, it's his turn to let his tears fall as he watches his wife make her way through a troubled sleep. He pushes back the dark hair that was fallen in her face and the tears only come down harder, soaking the pillow case he lies on. They're so close and so distant and when she rolls over so that she faces away from him, he has to bite his fist not to scream.

* * *

It's early the next morning, dark skies still over the city. He crawls out of bed and gets back into his clothes that lie on the floor of his wife's bedroom. He hates that he's doing this, hates that he's leaving her but he has to. He needs the closure that this temporary goodbye will supply him with.

When he gets to her empty apartment, he goes to knock to find the door already open. It looks nothing like it did when he lived there; everything gone, walls and floors bare. "Peyton?" She pops her head out of the hallway, pulling out an ear bud.

"Hey," she says with a sad smile and she puts down the box she has resting on her hip.

"I thought you were just leaving for a few weeks..." He looks confused and lost and she bites the inside of her cheek.

"I'm leaving for good Luke... I have to," she says, looking at the ground, not possessing the strength to tell him directly to his face. "I'm not wanted nor needed here. I gotta go." She looks up at his sad eyes and messy hair, clothes the same as yesterday and she almost breaks.

"I need you here," he says, voice cracking from his confused confession.

She shakes her head, blonde curls going from side to side. "No you don't." She walks up to him slowly and wraps her small arms around his body. "I love you Lucas Scott." He hugs her back, tighter than he should and she abruptly pulls away. "This is our goodbye... I don't want to speak to you ever again, not matter how much it kills me." He opens his mouth to say something, anything that could make her come back at some point in their long lives but she shakes her head.

"You need to leave now Lucas. We're finished." She puts her ear bud back in her ear and refocuses her attention on packing up what little belongings she has left out.

He turns slowly, more weightless and tied down than ever before, and makes his way back to Brooke.


	19. The Curse of Curves

Hey all. Here's the new chapter (the last one before the last chapter EVER). Not much to say other than it's short and that I love Corey... Everyone enjoy!

Brooke wakes up in her large bed, alone just like every other morning. It's cold and the sun shines on to her bed brightly. Lucas isn't next to her and she's honestly not sure how she feels about it. She had fallen asleep to him watching her, his warm presence both comforting and horrifying. She doesn't know what to do. She wants her husband; she wants him to leave. She wants to be strong and turn away from him for what he's done with Peyton; she wants to give in and lie in the loveliness of her husband's once safe arms.

But really, she just wants it to just go away. She wants the memories both happy and sad to disappear, wants to get out of this city she's lived in her whole life, just wants to forget _everything_.

She knows she can't and even if she could, wouldn't. It's the coward's way out and Brooke Davis(-Scott) has never been nor will be a coward. Besides, her memories hold too much meaning, both good and bad, for her to simply let them go. This city is home to her and her children and deep down they all love it too much. Love her husband too much...

Brooke sits up, blanket falling off her naked form and bunching over her stomach. Where the hell had she gone wrong? She feels lost in this whole thing and she barely feels like herself anymore. She sighs before getting out of bed.

* * *

Lucas wanders around his hometown hopelessly, shoulders hunched and face unshaven. He's such a dick. First he tells his wife that he doesn't need her best friend, his ex lover, and then he turns around and tells Peyton he DOES need her? He doesn't understand what's wrong with him. He loves Brooke and their kids with all his heart.

Whether he's bickering with Sophia over an outfit she shouldn't be wearing ot sitting down to a family dinner, Brooke next to him, holding his hand underneath the table as she asks the kids how their day was. He misses the vacations to the beach, Wyatt and Finley building a sandcastle as Brooke lays sleepily with her head on his chest, Sophia swimming in the water with Lily.

He rubs the back of his head roughly, messing up his already messy blonde hair before shoving his hands into his jean pockets. He needs, loves, and wants his life with Brooke back. He knows it won't be the same, never will be as ideal as it seems now that he's looking back, but it'll be better than this lonely emptiness he feels.

His mind travels back to Peyton and his shoulders slump even more. Peyton has always been like an outlet for him, understanding him when others can't, loving him unconditionally. He needs that in his life, whether it's Peyton or just someone, _something_ that he can use as an outlet. But Peyton has been in his life just as long as Brooke and she's a constant to him. He doesn't know if he can deal with losing something else so seemingly permanent in his life.

He sighs deeply and continues to walk around his quiet hometown.

* * *

She's driving over to pick up her kids when she sees Peyton's car parked across the street from the cemetery. She doesn't know why she stops, just does. She can't stop her feet from walking top the spot she knows Peyton will be at and can't stop herself from wanting to cry for every reason when she reaches Anna Sawyer's gravestone.

Peyton sits, slumped under the withering tree across from her mother's burial site, looking down at her sketchbook. Her usually curly hair is just wavy and pulled into a sloppy ponytail. She looks up suddenly, meeting Brooke's eyes for the first time since god knows when. Their faces don't look like they used to in high school. Gone are the smiles and bright eyes, replaced with dead eyes and frowns brought on by their own mistakes.

Peyton has to look away. She can't look at what she has turned her ex best friend into. She wants to apologize for ruining everything. But then she'll be expected to say that she's sorry from sleeping with Lucas and as horrible as it is, she's not. Not sorry for sharing a bed with Brooke's husband or sorry for letting his hands roam her body. She's simply sorry about how it all played out and how destroyed everything has become. So instead, she just says "I'm leaving," in her cowardly tone, eyes cast on the cold stone heading her mother's resting place.

Brooke scoffs, straightening out her oversized black sweater. "Doesn't really matter. You've already wreaked your havoc," she bites, not looking at the blonde. She _hates_ her. She is completely baffled by it too. She loved Peyton more than her own mother for a majority of her life and she just, _ruined_ it. Yet when Peyton tells her she's leaving, it makes her want to cry even more that her friend is leaving her for the first time since the third grade. It makes this already surreal situation a little harder to bear.

Her face and voice softens a little before she asks, "For good?" The older girl nods and Broke rubs her aching stomach. "It's going to be weird,not having you close. Even when I hate you I at least know where you are and if you're okay." Peyton nods again, an almost half smile on her face.

"You'll know if something's wrong. You always do." She almost wants to laugh. She didn't know something was wrong with her marriage until it was too late.

Peyton opens her mouth, her won guilt pushing to spill half fake apologies but Brooke just shakes her head. "You're not sorry Peyt. I don't need your lies to make this seem like it's getting better. You love him... I get it." She smiles sadly and then lets out a tired sigh as she rubs her lower back.

"I love you too Brooke, it's just..."

"I know. You love him more. I just wish I wasn't the one being left out on his end too."

Peyton stands up, brushing dirt off of her old jeans. "He doesn't love me at all. That's why I'm being let go so easily. He's not gonna try to stop me." She turns, looks at where her mother lies and at Brooke one last time before walking away for the final time.

Brooke clears her throat, not wanting to acknowledge the drawing left by the base of the tree by her long gone best friend. She picks it up without looking at it and places it upside down in her purse. She walks over to Keith's grave and that melancholy feeling washes over her, her dimpled smile weak and longing. "He's not even half the man we know he could've been..."

* * *

Her stomach is _killing_ her now. And she knows it's coming soon. She figures that she'll get to Nathan and Haley's, hang out with them and her kids until she knows she _has_ to go to the hospital. She's gone through this three times already and she knows it can take forever and a day. However when she gets out of her car in the driveway of the house where her family resides, all the wonderful nastiness of her water breaking hits the concrete ground.

"Well, isn't this just fabulous," she says to herself, looking down at the mess she's made. She sighs and walks up to the door and opens it, barely stepping in. "Nathan, Haley!"

They come walking from two different rooms, Nathan from the kitchen and Haley from the living room and the both look shocked. "I need someone to drive me to the hospital and someone else to wash down your driveway..."

* * *

Haley drove her, Nathan hanging back with the kids until Brooke gets closer to delivery and of course, watering the cement in front of his house. So it's almost like a girls day out, except Brooke's in pain from contractions and Haley's looking at her sadly. She hasn't told her yet, really when could she have? Brooke knows Sophia hasn't said a word because she hasn't said anything other than 'You're in labor!' and 'Sophia was acting weird... is everything okay?'

She's trying to pretend to be distracted. She's flipping through a magazine, every once ina while looking up at Brooke to smile sadly. "Do you want me to call Lucas," she asks finally after they've already been in the hospital an hour.

Brooke stares at her blankly for a moment before shaking her head. "Not now..."

"When," Haley asks again and Brooke knows what she's hinting at. She wants to know if Lucas will even be here and she just doesn't know. She can not deny him this but she wants so badly to.

"Not now," she simply repeats, nodding her head before blankly looking back at the tv.

* * *

Haley went to go get coffee and so she sits alone in the plain white hospital room. Her contractions are coming closer and getting stronger and she really should tell Haley to call Nathan and tell him to be ready to bring the kids.

God she hated this part of pregnancy. She sits in an uncomfortable bed with nothing to do for hours. She debates asking Haley to find a book for her to read but then the last words Paul send to her replay in her mind and she suddenly feels like she has way too much thinking to do...


	20. Some Streets Lead Nowhere

I AM DONE I AM DONE I AM DONE! This has probably been my lest favorite story to write but you all seem to love it so I'm glad I could give it to you. Just to make it clear now: THERE WILL BE NO SEQUEL. I hope I did this last chapter justice, but to be honest, I'm not satisfied but this whole story has been bigger than me so I don't think I would ever be happy with it. Thank you to ALL of my reviewers and inparticular: Corey, Lynn, Lizzy, BG(Christine), and Lou who have all helped me out with this story in there own way. It's been one hell of a ride and I hope you all enjoy!

This is all going a lot faster that her other pregnancies. Maybe she's simply gotten used to it... she hadn't noticed any major pain the day before but then she suddenly realizes it.

_Lucas._

She groans and pushes her hand against her forehead due to her own stupidity. Haley walks back into the room after getting her second cup of coffee and a snickers, and tells Brooke that Nathan's on his way with the kids. Then she notices the look on the brunette's face and asks what's wrong.

"I'm in labor, that's what's wrong," Brooke bitchily replies, covering up her own anger at her inability to make any choice that relates to her relationship with her husband. Upon seeing Haley's shocked and hurt face, Brooke quickly apologizes. "I'm just all over the place..."

Haley nods, understanding yet not, and then proceeds to change the subject. They talk about the most random things, from the peculiar smell coming from Michael's room to Jell-O. Brooke almost starts to laugh at the absurdness of it all when suddenly a contraction hits her harder than before. She clutches her stomach and squeezes her eyes shut.

When it passes, she breathes out and turns over on to her side. "My back is killing me," she groans and Haley begins to rub her lower back. Haley tells her it'll all be over soon and Brooke can't help but think how right she is. A few minutes later, another hits just as strong and Brooke finally breaks and tells Haley to call Lucas. The older mother lets out a grateful sigh and nods.

* * *

Brooke sits, brooding ironically, in the hospital bed in agonizing pain. For her other three births, she'd been on MANY drugs but she figured since this was her last baby, she'd go at it naturally.

She's an _idiot_.

Sophia walks in suddenly, mixed emotions playing on her face. Smile for the impending arrival of her baby sister, worry and anger towards her father. Brooke scoots over in the small bed and pats the warm sheets next to her. Sophia climbs in and lays down next to her mother, resting her head on Brooke's shoulder. She rubs Brooke's aching stomach silently and Brooke wraps her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "Are you feeling better my baby girl," she asks her daughter quietly, stroking Sophia's bare arm with her fingertips.

She shrugs indifferently before letting out a ragged breath. "I love you," Brooke says and Sophia tells her the same. A minute or so later, Wyatt and Finley bounce into the room, Finley the most excited.

"Momma you're having the baby," he exclaims, bright toothless smile filling the room. Brooke grins despite her pain and she feels like her decision keeps getting a little but easier. She waves her sons over and tries to find room for them on the bed. It's a little hopeless, considering the size so instead she kisses her boys a million times each. Wyatt tries to pretend he's annoyed but the smile is still on his face. Finley giggles loudly with each kiss and the noise is music to Brooke's ears. She _loves_ that her children can still be kids and enjoy it.

"Are you guys excited to meet your sister," Brooke asks through clenched teeth. Finley begins to ramble, much like Brooke, about how much fun it's going to be to be able to play with both Brooke AND the baby. Wyatt mentions that it'll be cool to have a little sister to protect along with the rest of his family. Sophia smiles at him and then tells Brooke that she's going to spoil the baby like no other.

Brooke smiles widely at her children's' words before clutching her stomach and squeezing her eyes shut. She starts breathing heavily and tries not to groan in pain while her kids are present. Sophia gets out of the bed, giving her mother the rest of the bed space. The door opens, revealing Nathan and the doctor, both smiling. She hates that everyone always grins like idiots when she is clearly lying there in pain. "How are we coming along," Dr. Fina asks and Brooke opens her eyes.

"I think we're there,' she replies and Nathan tells the kids to come with him.

"Haley or I will be back as soon as you get checked out," he says before taking the kids back to the waiting area.

* * *

"Hey, are you going to go back in with her," Nathan asks when he reaches his wife.

She shrugs and tells him it's really up to Brooke but that it'd probably be better if she went. He nods in agreement and then Haley notices his stance harden. She glances back to see Lucas frantically looking around in front of the elevator. She sighs before waving her hand in the air as a way to flag him down.

"Is she okay? Has she given birth yet," he asks, short of breath from running all the way there. Nathan walks away with out acknowledging him, instead going to seemingly guard his own children along with Brooke's.

"Just follow me, she should be delivering soon," Haley tells him lightly, putting her hand on his sweaty shoulder and guiding him towards Brooke's room.

* * *

Brooke sits, a pained look gracing her once more. In the time she's been here, she thinks she may have come to her conclusion. The one that would resolve the mess that has been the last have months. She hopes that Nathan or Haley hurry back because she hates being alone right now. And when all this is over, and it will be in a few hours, she'll tell them all her decision and look down at her beautiful baby girl and will know it'll all be alright.

The door opens and she looks over, expecting one of her in laws or her doctor. Instead, she sees Lucas' tired and sweaty face, followed by Haley and her doctor. "Lucas you look horrible... you didn't drive here did you? Jesus, you're going to give yourself another heat attack," Brooke scolds and he just nods his head, mumbling he's sorry.

He rubs her belly lovingly and Brooke breathes her way through another contraction. The doctor smiles as Haley takes her place on the other side of Brooke before saying, "It's time."

* * *

Two hours, forty seven minutes, and thirteen seconds later, Carolynn Nicole Scott rests against Brooke's chest. There's nothing but smiles across the room, both Haley and Lucas smiling like there is nothing horrible in the world. The kids have come in, all gushing over the baby, both Michael and Finley amazed by how tiny she was. "She looks exactly like her mother," Nathan commented when he held the baby.

Carolynn weighed seven pounds and was 18 inches long, had ten fingers and ten toes. Sophia, Wyatt, and Finley all looked like Lucas, but Carolynn looked like a carbon copy of Brooke. Head full of dark brown hair and the most unusual eyes for a new born baby. They weren't blue like most, but the lightest shade of green.

Now, they all sit in the silence of the room, the only noise coming from the buzzing lights and the new life sleeping against Brooke. Lucas sits in the chair by the window, the world outside now dark and lit by the twinkling lights above. He has a small slated smile on his face as he looks at his wife and his newest daughter. They're both absolutely beautiful and he hopes to god that they'll be a family again.

Haley's left to take the kids home with Nathan and it's so quiet that Lucas needs to fill the empty space. "You did wonderful Brooke... I'm sorry I wasn't by your side from the beginning like I should've been."

She shakes her head slowly. "I didn't need you... I could've done it by myself," she tells him quietly, softly. "We need to talk Lucas." He sits up in the plush chair and nods his head. "I realized something tonight, and I guess it's been looking me in the face these past couple months but I haven't seen it. To be honest it wasn't till Paul said something that I really gave it any thought." Confusion is evident on Lucas face as he stares at his wife.

She looks down at her new baby girl and lets out a sigh. "I have been Lucas Scott's girlfriend, Lucas Scott's wife, Lucas Scot's whatever since I was 16. I used to be so incredibly independent but before I even knew it, I wasn't. I was relying on you or the kids to help me make it through the day. I mean, I don't work. You provide me with a house and money to make clothes, and the food to feed our family. And the kids rely on me for everything. I barely have time to be my own person anymore... And I don't want my children, especially this little one or Sophia to think that they need to rely on _anyone_."

"Brooke, if that's a problem I _know_ we can fix that. Part of the reason you did stay home was because of the kids but if you need that space then tell me. We'll work it out, I promise we can work anything out," he pleads to her, fearing that she may be stating the beginning of the end.

She smiles softly. "I know, but there's so much more Lucas... This whole thing with Peyton.. I just..." She's at a loss of words, any words that may reason any of this. So she stops, takes a breath and looks down into her baby's green eyes, finding the strength to settle it all.

"I have never regretted the last 13 years I spent with you. Did you know that despite everything I still love you? That when you kissed her I still loved you? That when you were with her and I was at home crying myself to sleep in our bed, I'd think of you to make me feel better. I've loved you when you do not deserve it. I want you to love me like that. I want you to love me when you see me kiss someone else. I want you to love me despite _everything_ I've done or could do. I _need_ you to love me like that." Her words are calm and relaxed and he can't imagine how she can be. Her words hurt and he wants to tell her that he did love her when she was with another man.

"I _do_ love you like that, I have _always_ loved you like that," he tells her, tears forming in his eyes. This is all wrong. Every single action that brought them here; every fucked up speech or stupid mistake, every wrong need and want.

"I can't remember why Lucas. Why I love you despite everything," Brooke whispers, holding back her own tears because she refuses to let them fall on the day of her daughter's birth, a day where she should be happy. "Because you just keep letting me down. And you may love me like that but I don't see it, not with the way you treat me..."

She's not looking at him. Hasn't during this whole conversation because she's afraid of what could happen. She's afraid she'll break and take a step backwards and just forget about all the bad shit and just take him back because she does love him so much. She's afraid she'll just lose it and cry, her tears being her baby's first rain. But she needs to be strong and put her foot down and stop all of it. "So, I can't be with you for a while. Not until I can be my own person again and you can prove to me that you are worth everything."

He doesn't say anything after that, can't think of anything that could change her mind and he's honestly not sure he wants to. He has been a shitty husband and maybe they do need time apart. They need to fix themselves before they can fix their marriage. So, silently he stands and kisses Carolynn's head. Then he kisses the side of Brooke's head and catches her eye.

They make eye contact for the first time in hours and they both know this is going to be a long battle that neither are sure they can win.


End file.
